Painful Secrets
by Eldr-Fire
Summary: 13 years ago, Hanano Rin died giving birth to a pinkhaired little girl... KakaSaku father daughter. Kakashi Gaiden spoilers. Slightly AUish. First story... Please be kind and R&R!
1. Prologue

This is my first story, I'm so excited! I dedicate this story to my little sister, who was the midwife to the birth of this idea, and helped me nurture it until I could take care of it on my own.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I am simply a humble fan who seeks to share my love for Kishimoto-sensei's masterpiece.**

* * *

Prologue

It was a cold night. Rain poured from the heavens – it was as if the skies were weeping for the frightened woman on earth who lay underneath a willow tree, shielded from the icy rain. The woman was breathing heavily as if she had just run a long distance. A friend knelt beside her, speaking to her in a calming voice despite the desperate circumstances. The two were far from home in enemy lands, and were very much alone. No one was there to hear the woman's screams, the friend's soothing words.

The screaming woman was named Hanano Rin, and she was about to give birth. _Why _they had been sent on a mission for the village when Rin was seven and a half months pregnant, her friend did not know. All she _did _know was that Rin was giving birth, right there, right then, and there was no time to question the decisions of those in power.

Rin's shrieks pierced the cruel night, only to be lost in the howling wind. Minutes passed and slowly turned into an hour. It was a painful process. Finally, after many cries of pain, Rin's friend was cleaning off a newborn baby the best she could, wiping the blood off of its tiny body with the sleeve of her torn short.

Rin lay slumped against the trunk of the tree, breathing heavily. _It's finally over. _This was the only thought that crossed her mind. _Finally over._ She blinked open her weary eyes as her friend handed her the child. "Here you go, Rin," she said kindly. "Your daughter."

Rin held the baby in her trembling hands. Soft pink fuzz grew on her head. She had a scrunched-up face that featured two big, green eyes. Rin smiled feebly. _She doesn't look like either of us, _she reflected.

"What are you going to name her?" her friend asked tentatively. She could tell that something was wrong with Rin…. she was too tired….

Rin did not answer immediately. She looked into the distance, gazing into some far-away world that her friend could not see. "Sakura," she whispered softly. "Sakura like the trees that grow back home."

The child looked up at her mother with those large, beautiful eyes of hers. If she had been old enough to understand what was going on, she would have seen that her mother did not have long to live….

Rin's friend saw this. She saw that Rin was not long for this world. _Poor thing, _she thought sadly. _She's so young… I wonder who the child's father is._ She gave Rin an affectionate pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Rin," she said, sounding more optimistic than she really was. "Everything will be all right."

Rin closed her eyes. There were no sounds, except for the baby's gentle breathing as she slept in her mother's arms, the wind moaning as it whipped their hair about, the rain churning up the ground as it poured like buckets from the heavens. She smiled weakly. "Chibi Arashi," she said softly, using the nickname she had given her friend long ago on a hot summer day. "You have been a greater friend than I ever could have dreamed for. I know that I am going to die here, on this cold and heartless night. As my dying wish, I want you to bring my child back to her home… Maybe one day my Sakura will know who saved her from perishing in this ungodly storm, held forever in her mother's cold, dead arms." A single tear ran down her face as she opened her eyes again to look at her dear friend one final time. "Bring her home," she whispered. As her voice left her body, so did her soul, and Hanano Rin was dead.

Silently mourning Rin's death on the inside, her friend took the sleeping child into her arms. _The man who did this to Rin will pay_, she thought bitterly as she dug through her weathered bag to find something warm to wrap the child in. As she pulled out a tattered shirt, she swore vengeance on the man who had brought about Rin's death, and would do anything she could to find out who he was. She already had a pretty good idea… But now was not the time. The child's life was in her hands, and she could not disgrace Rin's passing wish.

Wrapping her arms around the child, she gave Rin's body one last look. Tears filled her eyes and leaked down her face— she knew that she could not take Rin's corpse with them. She took two large sticks that had fallen on the ground and bound them together with some spare bandages to create a makeshift cross. She stuck it in the ground alongside Rin's body. _One day I will come back for you_, she promised. Even though she felt as if she would die from the cold, she removed the outer layer of her outfit and laid it on top of Rin's body to better protect it from the elements. She stood there for a moment, then knelt down and kissed Rin's brow. _Until then, I pray that you will watch over your daughter and village._

The baby awoke and began to cry. Rin's friend held the child closer to her chest. _Cry, little one, _she thought as she left the scene, hurrying home so as to save both herself and the child from the cold. _Cry for the lost soul that is your mother_.

* * *

An old farmer sat in the kitchen of his house, groaning as he stretched his legs. He was reflecting on how young he used to be, how much he could do, when he heard a yelp from out in the field. It was his wife. He came out of his house as quickly as his arthritic legs would allow. His wife ran to him, screaming bloody murder. "What is it?" he bellowed, trying to be heard over her shrieks. "What in blazes—"

"A body!" she screamed, and her husband could see that she was sobbing. "A body in the cornfield!"

Flabbergasted and frightened, the old man followed her to the edge of the field. His mouth fell open as he saw that there was indeed a body lying underneath the shelter of an oak tree. It was a woman. Her black hair was strewn across her face, which was decorated with premature lines and wrinkles. There were deep circles under her closed eyes, and her entire person was a mess. It looked like she had been traveling for days.

The farmer put an arm around his wife. Just as he was about to say something, a baby started crying. The old man was baffled. There were no babies anywhere near their home. His wife, however, pointed a shaking finger at the bag that lay beside the dead woman. The old farmer let his arm fall from around his wife's shoulder and slowly approached the leather bag. Trembling, he opened it. Inside it was a newborn child who looked half-starved. "Could it be…?" The man wondered if this was the child of the dead woman. _It would make sense_, he thought, _but there's no way of knowing._

Quite suddenly, the farmer's wife rushed over and swept the newborn up and into her arms. "Oh, Kuwa," she said, sounding as if she had a bad head cold. "This baby looks like it will soon share the same fate as the poor woman." Tears lined her face and she looked up at her husband with those big, blue eyes that even in his old age he could not resist.

"But darling, we can't keep 'er," he said, an almost pleading tone to his voice. "We don't know nothin' 'bout takin' care of babies." This much was true— They had never had any children, and knew nothing about raising them.

The farmer's wife looked again at the little child. After several moments, she turned to her husband once more. "We give her to the village," she said firmly. "The…. woman looked like she was one of those shinobi. Even if the child isn't hers, you can bet your farm they want it."

The farmer nodded— This was a better idea than any he could think of. However, he didn't fancy the idea of going into that village— all of the people there scared him a great deal. As though she could read his mind, his wife said, "I'll bring her in. Your legs aren't what they used to be." The man gave a steely nod as his wife prepared to leave.

* * *

Lord Hokage sat at his desk, his young face resting atop his hands. "And you say the woman looked as if she had been traveling?" he asked the old farmwoman sitting in the chair opposite him. She was cradling a sleeping, pink-haired newborn in her arms.

"Yes," she replied, her voice a bit unsteady. "Her clothes were completely ruined, and her face was a mess."

"Did she resemble the child?" Lord Hokage couldn't think of whose child it could be, so he was trying to narrow it down.

The woman shook her head. "The woman had long, black hair, not pink."

The Hokage contained a sigh. There were so many women with black hair in their village…

"Well, thank you for bringing the child to us," he said, straightening up in his chair. "Where is the body now?"

The woman's face took on a rather paler hue. "At— at the house," she said. "My husband was going to bury her."

"A noble thing to do," said the Hokage, "but I would like the body to be brought to the village. If you like, I will send some people over to go and collect her."

"That's fine, fine by me," the woman said a bit quickly. It was clear that she did not want the body buried on her husband's property. She rose from her chair, but stood in place, unsure of what to do with the child.

"Here, I will take her," said the Hokage, also standing up and walking over to take the child from the woman. "Don't worry, we will take good care of her."

* * *

"Well?" asked the Hokage expectantly. "Who is she?"

One of the ANBU members stepped forward. "Tsuchikemuri Tenka," he stated. "She was sent on a mission to rescue a stolen scroll of middling importance from Grass Country about two and a half weeks ago."

"Is this child hers?" asked the Hokage. ANBU had ways of figuring this sort of thing out.

The ANBU member shook his head. "We're not entirely sure whose it is, but we have been able to confirm that it is not her child."

The Hokage's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Who else was on the mission with her?"

"Only one," answered another man from ANBU. "Hanano Rin."

The Hokage stood up. "Is it possible that the child is Rin's?" he asked.

"It is possible," said the man. "However, we've no way of knowing for sure yet."

The Hokage closed his eyes, thinking of anything or anyone that could help them. An idea came to him. "Do you know if either one of them were…. close to anyone?" He had a bad feeling about this….

No one answered immediately. Then one man stepped forward. "Well, I don't know about Tsuchikemuri," he said, sounding rather uncomfortable, "but I know that Hanano Rin was engaged to Hatake Kakashi."

No one spoke for several moments. The Hokage cleared his throat. "Very well then," he said. "Get me Hatake Kakashi."

"Yes, sir," they all said in unison, and then left the building as one.

* * *

"Hatake Kakashi," said the Hokage sternly, observing the young man that stood before him. He had just returned from a dangerous ANBU mission, and had not yet changed out of his torn and dirty uniform. He had changed so much since he had been the Hokage's student…. The expression on his face was subdued fright. "Do you know why you are here?"

Kakashi shifted his feet uncomfortably. "Yes, Lord Hokage," he said. "The others say you found a child, and you think that it is Rin's." He looked up at the Hokage. "I know what you're going to ask me."

The Hokage nodded— Kakashi wasn't stupid. "Very well then," he said. "What is your answer?"

Kakashi hesitated, staring into the Hokage's eyes, but finally said, "I'm the father of that child."

An awkward silence followed. "Yes," said the Hokage eventually. "I thought so."

Kakashi bit his lower lip underneath the mask, and then asked, "Sir, is Rin…?" He didn't need to finish his question, for the look on the Hokage's face told him the answer.

"Kakashi, do you realize that you brought about Rin's death?" the Hokage asked sternly. He was Hokage now, and could not let any past familiarity with Kakashi interfere with the matter at hand. Besides, his own wife was pregnant now, and he knew the pain women had to go through while an infant develops inside of them. "I'm disappointed in you, Kakashi… Obito, who loved Rin with all his heart, gave you his eye, and his final wish was that with that eye, you would protect her for him. And yet, this is how you repay Obito? Getting Rin pregnant only 2 years after Obito's death, then letting her die while giving birth to that child on a mission?"

Tears were running down Kakashi's face. He knew that everything his former sensei was saying was true, and it was consuming him… He felt as if he was going to retch. Grabbing the edge of the Hokage's desk for support, he managed to choke, "I know, sensei, I know… I've let everyone down, Obito, you, Rin…."

The Hokage closed his eyes in thought, holding back a tear. Rin had been his student, and he often thought of her as a daughter. _First Obito, now Rin…_ Without opening his eyes, he said, "Well, Kakashi, what do you plan to do about it? You're a father now, and with that comes a lot of responsibility… Not only to you have to bear the burden of Rin's death on your shoulders, you must also pay the price for your foolishness and look after that poor child."

"…." Kakashi said nothing, thinking about his options. What with all of the fighting and war, he hadn't seen Rin for months, so they hadn't really discussed the future of their child… "I… I don't know what to do, sensei," he said finally, his voice trembling, his entire body shaking. Tears were breaking free no matter how hard he tried to fight them, rolling down his face, soaking into his mask and dripping onto the desk with a soft _plit_, _plit._ "I don't know what to do…." Kakashi stopped trying to hold back his tears. His knees wobbling dangerously, he completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. The Hokage had never seen Kakashi like this— He suspected that Kakashi hadn't cried like this since Obito's death. He understood that Kakashi was feeling a lot of pain right now, so he let him cry, watching the boy he had watched grow all these years. _He's suffered so much…_ Even though he knew it was Kakashi's love that killed her, the Hokage could not help but feel pity for Kakashi as he watched him stand in front of him, weeping as if he himself had died.

After several minutes of sustained sobbing, Kakashi wiped his face with the back of his glove. "For- Forgive me, sensei," he said, his voice still unsteady. "I—"

Kakashi's voice faltered as the Hokage held up his hand. "Hatake Kakashi," he began, "you have seen and suffered much. I find the idea of you raising the child so young when you have so much on your plate very foolish. We need you in this war, and you would not be able to devote enough time and attention to the care of your newborn daughter. For this reason, I think it best that the child is taken in by a non-shinobi family, a family that can take care of her until you are ready to take her in yourself." He put his hand back on his desk. "What do you think of that, Kakashi?"

"I— I think that it would be best for her," said Kakashi. He didn't just think, he _knew _that he would prove a poor father for her at this point.

"Very well," said the Hokage in a very businesslike manner. "The child will be given to a civilian family." He glanced at Kakashi, who was staring at his hands, still stained with the blood of an enemy who had fallen victim to Chidori. "Kakashi," he said, more kindly, "don't be too hard on yourself."

"…. Yes, sir." He turned to leave, knowing that their conversation was over.

"Oh, and Kakashi," the Hokage called. "What is the child's name going to be?"

Kakashi stood in the doorway, his back still facing the Hokage. He was silent, looking out of the window for inspiration. His eyes fell upon many things-- the bright blue sky, the fresh green grass... But the thing that caught his eye was the tree in the middle of the small courtyard, standing proud and tall as it showed off its beautiful pink blossoms. It was a cherry blossom tree, and it had bloomed earlier than most. _Just like my daughter,_ thought Kakashi. _She was born almost two months premature..._

"Sakura," he said quietly. "Hanano Sakura."


	2. Kakashi's Strange Behavior

Thanks for the reviews, they motivate me to keep going! Just in case anyone was wondering, I'm altering Kakashi's age a bit… Instead of 26, he's 28 and a half-ish. Oh, and I'm not quite sure where this story takes place in the Naruto timeline… It's supposed to be March, because that's when Sakura's birthday is. Um… Well, I want Sasuke to be in it, so X the Sasuke retrieval arc. Right before that, I guess. He hasn't defected to Orochimaru. It's fan fiction, anyway, it doesn't need to fit into continuity.

* * *

Haruno Sakura woke to the sound of her beeping alarm. Glancing at the clock, she saw that she was half an hour late for practice. It hardly mattered, though— Kakashi-sensei was always hours late. _He's so irresponsible… I don't think I need to worry about showing up 30 minutes late today._

What with combing her hair, showering, brushing her teeth, and grabbing a quick breakfast, Sakura showed up about an hour late. She was shocked to see that standing behind Naruto and Sasuke was none other than Kakashi-sensei.

"Sakura-chan, you're late!" Naruto jeered. "Later than Kakashi-sensei, even! How is that even _possible?_" He laughed at his own joke, while Kakashi glared at him over his book.

"I…I…" Sakura was lost for words. "Ka-Kakashi-sensei, I'm…" Her voice faltered when she saw that Kakashi-sensei was staring at her now instead of Naruto, his one visible eye narrowed as if he were thinking about something very serious. "Ka-Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi snapped out of it immediately. "What? Sorry, I was just thinking about something…" Although he sounded as aloof as usual, Sakura wasn't fooled. Something was bothering Kakashi-sensei… Did it have to do with her, or was it just coincidence that his eyes were focused on _her_?

* * *

As they passed through Konoha's large gate upon returning from that day's mission, Sakura was lost deep in thought. _All throughout the mission, Kakashi-sensei seemed more distracted than usual… What could he be thinking about?_ On more than one occasion, Sakura caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. When she'd turn to look at him straight in the face, though, he'd be back to reading his book, as if he had been reading it the whole time.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called, jogging to catch up with her and breaking her train of thought.

"What is it, Naruto?" she snapped.

"Tomorrow's your birthday, isn't it?"

Sakura blinked— She had completely forgotten about that. "Oh," she said simply. "I guess it is."

The group had stopped walking— Sasuke was standing at the back, moody as ever; Naruto and Sakura were standing at the front, and Kakashi was right behind them, unnaturally quiet.

"Kakashi-sensei, shouldn't we all get her presents?" Naruto asked Kakashi. "After all, she'll be turning 13, won't she?"

Kakashi closed his book, putting it away. "Well, it is an important age," he said. "You don't turn 13 every day."

"I know what I'm getting you, Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed. "But it's a secret!" He placed a finger over his mouth. "Well, bye! I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura-chan!" He waved, then ran off in the direction of his apartment.

_I wonder if Sasuke-kun will get me a present,_ Sakura thought. She could picture it now….

"_Sakura-chan, I have no material gift for you," he would announce. "But I do have this." He would lean over and whisper in her ear, "I love you," then place a light kiss on her cheek._

"I'm going home."

Sakura's dreams were interrupted by Sasuke's voice. She turned to watch him leave, emitting an aura of distinct annoyance. _It would probably be best not to follow him…._

"Sakura."

Sakura looked around in surprise— someone had said her name softly, barely more than a whisper. It had sounded like…. "Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi was standing in the same spot as before, watching the sun set behind the trees. It didn't seem as if he were talking to her, nor did he appear to have heard her, so she said it again: "Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hm?" Kakashi blinked and looked at Sakura.

"You… said my name," she said, feeling uncomfortable. She had never been alone with Kakashi-sensei before, and he always intimidated her a little.

Kakashi looked surprised. "Really?" he asked. Sakura nodded, thinking, _Is he so out of it that he can't even remember what he said?_ "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about something…"

_That's the same excuse he used before! _Sakura thought angrily. _What's wrong with him?_

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura," he said, then left her alone on the dirt path.

* * *

Tsunade sat in her chair with her feet up on her desk, a mountain of paperwork lying before her. _I don't feel like filling out paperwork right now,_ she thought lazily. She sighed. _There are so many things to deal with… Being Hokage isn't all fun and games._

There was a knock on her door. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she thought, _That must be Kakashi_. "Come in, Kakashi," she called.

Kakashi walked in, looking very troubled. Tsunade gestured for him to sit down in a chair across from her desk.

"I see that you've been expecting me, Tsunade-sama," he said, taking the seat. "I'm glad that you remembered… I don't think I was up to bringing it up myself."

Tsunade sat up. "So, Kakashi, what do you think? 13 years is a long time… I think it's about time you told her."

"I agree… I think I've procrastinated much too long," Kakashi said wearily.

"Would you like to do the honors yourself, or would you like someone to break it to her for you?" Tsunade asked.

"… I think that, if her foster parents would rather tell her themselves, they should be allowed to do that," Kakashi said slowly. "Otherwise, I'll do it myself… After all, she _is _my responsibility."

Tsunade half-smiled. "You're afraid, aren't you, Kakashi?"

Kakashi's face remained expressionless. "It's…. a big change," he said simply. "And it will undoubtedly affect my career dramatically… I won't have nearly as much time to spare, even if Sakura is also a shinobi."

Tsunade leaned back in her chair again. "We'll manage something," she said. "You're too valuable to Konoha for us to give you up entirely to fatherhood."

Kakashi managed a smile. "Thanks for the compliment," he said, standing up.

"I'll send someone to inform her foster parents," Tsunade assured Kakashi's back as he walked out of the doorway. "Let me know when things have settled down."

"Will do." With that, he was gone.

* * *

Sorry if it started out a little slow, but it will get better, I promise! 


	3. Happy Birthday?

Hiya! Uncharacteristic of me to say that, I know, but I'm sure you'll get over it. Anyhoo, thanks for the nice reviews, I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

Mrs. Haruno hummed a tuneless song as she finished placing the candles in the cake. _Sakura-chan is growing up so fast!_ she thought, smiling to herself. _I'm so proud of her!_

Of course, tugging at the happy feeling within her was the little voice that kept repeating in its horrible, cynical voice; _"You know she's not your daughter. You know that sooner or later, her father is going to come for her, and then you'll never hear her cry 'Mom!' so affectionately again."_ Mrs. Haruno shunned the voice, picturing Sakura's happy face as she blew out all thirteen candles.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Now, who in the world could that be?" wondered Mrs. Haruno aloud, folding her apron and placing it neatly on the table, ready to be taken upstairs after she dealt with this unexpected guest.

Mrs. Haruno was surprised to see a man in a bird-shaped mask standing in her doorway.

"Is this the residence of Haruno Chinatsu and Haruno Ichiro?" he asked in a firm and professional voice.

"Y-yes," answered Mrs. Haruno. "May I ask why you've showed up here?" _ANBU…. What could they want with us, a non-shinobi couple? Could it be… Sakura-chan?_

"I've come here to briefly discuss a certain kunoichi who lives here." _So it **is **Sakura he's here for!_ "You are her foster mother, correct?"

"Yes, I am," said Mrs. Haruno. _Oh no… Is he here to take her away?_

"I have been sent to inform you that her father, Hatake Kakashi, wishes that Sakura learn of her true parentage," the man replied. "He is ready to accept his duties as the girl's father, and is willing to take her in now. You may divulge the information to Sakura when you wish to do so, but please do not take more time than necessary." The man in the mask bowed, and then disappeared on the spot.

Mrs. Haruno stood in the doorway, frozen to the spot. The day had finally come… The day when Sakura's _real_ father would take her away.

After the initial shock wore off, the first emotion to grab hold of her was anger. _How dare he wait 13 years? _she raged inwardly. _We've looked after Sakura-chan her entire life, and now he thinks he can just prance in and snatch her away from the loving couple who cared for her, felt pain for her, cried for her? It's madness! There's no way I'll let that good-for-nothing man take Sakura-chan away!_

Mrs. Haruno tore back into her house, slamming the door shut behind her. Sakura, who was up in her room, ran down the stairs. "Is everything all right, Mom?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

At the sight of Sakura's face, Mrs. Haruno's anger ebbed away. "Nothing, honey," she assured Sakura.

Sakura immediately protested. "But I heard—"

"It was the wind, dear," Mrs. Haruno insisted. "Nothing to worry about, I'll just have to be more careful next time."

"Oh, okay." Sakura returned to her room where she was undoubtedly reading up on some complex ninjutsu.

As she put her apron away, Mrs. Haruno scolded herself. _What was I thinking? Hatake Kakashi may have given Sakura away when she was born, but he is still her father. He must miss her dearly…_ Mrs. Haruno resolved never to think thoughts like that about Sakura's father again. She wasn't a shinobi, and could only imagine what he, a man much younger than her, had been through.

* * *

"Open your eyes, Sakura!" Mrs. Haruno's cheery voice rang out. Sakura obeyed, opening her eyes eagerly. She let out a gasp of delight as she saw the spectacular, multi-level cake her mother had baked for her the night before. "It's beautiful, Mom!" she squealed. "Thank you!" She threw herself into Mrs. Haruno's arms, squeezing her tightly.

Pain leftover from the night before stabbed at Mrs. Haruno as she heard Sakura say over and over again, her voice muffled by Mrs. Haruno's clothing, "I love you, Mom!"

Sakura pulled away from her and ran over to her cake, a grin stretching across her face. She took a deep breath, ready to wish vehemently for what she wanted every year. However, something stopped Sakura just as she was about to blow out the candles. She couldn't tell what it was, but… something wanted her to save her wish. She straightened up, abandoning the childish expression she had been wearing as she turned to Mr. and Mrs. Haruno. "I love it Mom, but I'm on a diet, so I'll save it for later, okay?"

"Of course, dear," said Mrs. Haruno, kissing Sakura on the top of her head. "Now you'd better get going, otherwise you'll be late for your mission."

Sakura nodded and bounded at the door, praying that Sasuke would give her the kiss she had been dreaming about.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Sakura!" Naruto looked different— He was wearing a huge grin on his face, which was perfectly normal, but it was painfully obvious that he had tried (and failed) to comb his hair. The result was a half-smooth, half-tangled mess with a few plastic teeth sticking out at random intervals. He was wearing the same orange outfit, but he had forced a carnation into the thick material. The site was very comical, and Sakura had a hard time not laughing.

To her disappointment, Sasuke looked the same as usual. _Well, looks aren't everything! _Sakura told herself, refusing to lose hope.

"Kakashi-sensei, can we give her our presents now?" Naruto asked Kakashi, who was standing behind him, reading his book.

"Yes," answered Kakashi, putting his book away, "but let's not make this take too long."

Naruto was doing a poor job of hiding a large box behind his back. "I got you a present, Sakura-chan!" he said, looking very much like a little boy. He gave her a very exaggerated wink, handing it over. It was very badly wrapped. _That's so cute,_ thought Sakura as she easily unwrapped it. A card fell out— Naruto hurriedly picked it up. "You dropped the card!" he said, handing it to her.

"Sorry," Sakura apologized— This seemed very important to Naruto. The card was beautiful— It was gilded and had a cherry blossom painting on the cover. Sakura opened it carefully, not wanting to damage it. Inside was a handwritten poem.

_Thirteen blooms on the sakura tree_

_Each more beautiful than the last_

_When I see each one, I think of you_

_Thirteen years and still the best._

Sakura felt tears well up behind her eyes. It wasn't the most beautiful thing she'd ever read, but she could tell that Naruto had put a lot of time and effort into it.

"Thanks, Naruto," she said, finding herself unable to grasp the proper words.

Naruto beamed at her. "Open the present!"

Sakura opened the box, which was labeled "FRAGILE." Inside was a beautiful bonsai tree, along with a scribbled note:

_It's a banzai tree! (Get it?) I hope that you and I stay friends for a thousand years!_

* * *

**Author's note:** You all know that bonsai trees are small trees that you keep in a pot, right? "Banzai" is a Japanese expression meaning "Ten thousand years." It comes from the original Chinese "wansui", which was used to praise the Emperor ("Wu huang wansui, wansui, wanwansui" means "May my Emperor live and reign for ten thousands years, ten thousand years, ten thousand of ten thousands years". Also, in Chinese numerals, "ten thousand" has a connotation of "infinity".) Ah, the beauty of Wikipedia.

* * *

Sakura really had to fight back a tear or two this time.

"So? Whaddaya think?"

"I—" It took Sakura a moment to compose herself. "I love it, Naruto."

Naruto punched the air triumphantly. "Yes! I knew you would! I picked it out especially for you!"

Sakura smiled warmly. "Thanks, Naruto, I really appreciate it." She took a look at the plant that she had placed next to her on the ground. "Um, Kakashi-sensei, what should I do with this?"

"For now, you can just put it over there," Kakashi said, nudging his head toward the memorial stone. "Nobody will take it there."

Sakura nodded and carried the plant over there, placing it carefully behind the monument. When she came back, Sasuke was holding out a small wrapped gift. He was determinedly looking away. As Sakura approached, he snapped, "Just take it." Sakura's face fell a little, but then she noticed that he was blushing most uncharacteristically. She took the gift out of her hands and unwrapped it. She was rather disappointed to see that it was a book about medical ninjutsu. "Thanks, Sasuke," she said pretty unenthusiastically. _At least he bothered to get me a gift,_ she thought, sticking the book in the pouch on her hip.

"Well, let's get started," said Kakashi, reaching for his shuriken holster.

"Kakashi-sensei, didn't you get Sakura-chan a gift?" Naruto asked.

"N-no, Naruto, it—" Sakura didn't want Kakashi to feel as if he _needed_ to get her something.

"… Sorry, I forgot," Kakashi said simply.

"What? How could you forget Sakura's birthday?" Naruto complained. "If you actually _told _us when yours was, I'm sure she would have gotten you something!"

"Naruto, it's all right, it's really all right," Sakura insisted. _I hope Kakashi-sensei isn't angry…_

"I've been busy lately," Kakashi replied vaguely.

"But—"

"End of story. Now, can we get started?" It was clear that Kakashi did not want to keep talking about this.

"But—"

Sakura gave Naruto a dangerous look.

"… Fine." Naruto sounded very defiant, though, and didn't cooperate very well with Kakashi for the rest of the day.

* * *

Sakura lay on her bed, reading the book that Sasuke had given her. It was actually very interesting, and Sakura was really into it. Her concentration was broken, however, by a knock on her door.

"Honey, can we come in?"

Sakura sighed, placing a bookmark carefully in the book and setting it down on her nightstand, next to the plant that Naruto had gotten her. "Sure, Mom."

Mr. and Mrs. Haruno entered her room, the former looking uncomfortable and the latter wearing a look of forced calm on her face.

"Is everything okay?"

"…Sakura, honey, can we sit down?"

_She didn't say "yes"… _"Of course."

Mrs. Haruno sat down on the bed next to Sakura, while her husband remained standing.

"Mom, Dad, what's going on?" Sakura asked, the worry evident in her voice. "Is everything okay?"

Her lip trembling, Mrs. Haruno said, "Sakura-chan, there's— there's something we never told you."

Sakura was scared now. _What could it be? _"What— What is it?"

"Honey, we're… not your real parents."

Dead silence.

"Wha-What?" Sakura stuttered, disbelieving. "Are you guys— Is this a joke?" _This must be a joke… It can't be true…_

Mrs. Haruno shook her head. "No, honey, it's true."

Sakura still refused to believe. "What are you _talking _about? I've lived with you two as long as I can remember!"

"When you were very small," Mr. Haruno started, "your mother gave birth to you on a mission. She died during childbirth, but you were found and brought to the village. Your father —your real father— wasn't ready to take care of a child, so… We took you in."

"I'm sorry we never told you before now, honey," Mrs. Haruno added, looking sadly at Sakura.

Sakura was lost for words. "I… I…" A single tear ran down her cheek as she let out a choked sob. "I can't believe this…." She collapsed sideways on her bed, sobbing.

Mrs. Haruno inched over to her, picking her up and holding her head in her lap. She stroked her hair soothingly, crooning, "It's okay, honey, shhhh…. It's okay…."

Sakura continued to weep for several minutes. Eventually, though, the loud cries died down. She sniffled, asking, "Who… Who are my real parents?"

"Your mother was a young kunoichi named Hanano Rin," Mrs. Haruno said softly, still running her fingers through Sakura's hair, "and your father…" She and her husband exchanged glances.

"What?" Sakura said, sniffling once more.

"This may come as a shock to you, sweetie, but… Your father is Hatake Kakashi."

Sakura froze, horror etched all over her face. She was in a state of total shock, unable to move. Her entire body was numb. She struggled to find words for almost a full minute, each second lasting its own eternity. She finally managed to choke, "Kakashi-sensei?"

"Honey, I know it's hard—"

Sakura slid off her mother's lap, getting off her bed and standing up. "I'm going to see him," she stated firmly.

"What? Honey, you can't do that! It's late, and it's started raining outside—"

Here voice strangely high-pitched, Sakura shouted, "Mom, I have to talk to him!" _Already it feels strange, calling her "Mom"…_

"Sakura-chan—" This time it was her father, or the man she had thought was her father her entire life, protesting in his deep voice. Sakura paid him no attention, though, pushing past him and running down the stairs. She didn't even bother to put on a coat as she sprinted out of the house, running blindly, street after street, until she was forced to come to a stop, panting and clutching a stitch in her side. The village was dark, and completely unrecognizable— Sakura had no idea where she was. She stood on the corner of an unfamiliar street, holding herself and crying, her tears undistinguishable from the raindrops as they poured down her face and fell into the puddles of rainwater surrounding her.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'll start typing the next chapter right away! 


	4. Father and Daughter

Hey guys, sorry for taking so long to update! Wow, thirteen more reviews than last time! Well, it's probably because something actually _happened _in chapter 3. Ryo Yuriko: Yes, Sakura might be overreacting a bit, but I will not allow her to get all angsty, don't worry. I am aware that Sakura is a very strong character, but consider this: All her life, she has been surrounded by people with messed up families. Think of how lucky she must have considered herself, not having one herself. But now, her perfect, wholesome family turns out not to be so perfect after all, and she's got her perverted, intimidating sensei as a father and no mother. The words I just typed will be echoed in later chapters, perhaps even this one (if I stray from the handwritten script). Drama and angst is not exactly my forté— At least, according to a long-time friend of mine. He was surprised when he learned that I was delving into this dark and emotional genre, because normally I stick to comedy. My problem: I lack experience. I'm only going into 7th grade (sh!) so I have yet to experience the emotional drama that middle school is waiting patiently to throw at me.

Oh, and the person who recognized me as Ushi's EldrFire… I'm shocked, really. I dreamed about such things, but it never occurred to me that anyone would actually recognize me. gets lost in her dreams of non-existent fame

Anyhoo, I'm wasting my time typing up these unimportant paragraphs when I should be typing the story! Forgive me!

* * *

_Kakashi stood in front of the memorial stone, staring bleakly at the cramped kanji carved in the stone. _There it is, _he thought. _Obito's little place in history. _Even though it had been a year already, Kakashi still couldn't grasp Obito's death. Part of him kept expecting to see Obito pop up whenever he made a mistake, jeering, "Hah! I guess even geniuses make mistakes too, huh?" The vision of Obito swam in front of his eyes, dissolving into Rin's tear-stained face._

"_Kakashi?" she whispered. Kakashi blinked. It wasn't a ghostly vision in his mind; Rin was actually standing in front of him._

"_Rin?"_

_With no warning, Rin threw herself onto Kakashi, sobbing. Kakashi stood there, holding her tightly. He was determined not to cry— He had to be strong for Rin, because if he fell apart then she would have no one to turn to. Still, he had a hard time containing the tears. "Curse you and your tears, Rin," he said softly. "They're contagious."_

_Rin's sobs subsided, and she sniffled as she rested her head on Kakashi's shoulder. "Kakashi, I'm so confused," she whispered into his ear. "Obito loved me so much, and I feel so guilty… It would be a lie if I told you that I didn't love him, but… It wasn't _that _kind of love. He was more like a brother to me…" Kakashi said nothing, listening to her words. He knew where this was going, and yet… He had no desire to stop her._

"_I feel so guilty," she repeated, her voice wavering as she struggled against another sob. "It would be a lie if I told you that I didn't love him, but it would also be a lie if I claimed that I didn't love you." Again, Kakashi said nothing. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't have— His brain was having a hard time functioning like it normally did. He was feeling things he had never really felt before, and he was trying to make sense of it while still listening to Rin's heartfelt words._

"_I've always loved you, Kakashi," she whispered— No, her voice was softer than a whisper now. Kakashi could feel her warm breath on his neck, and it comforted him. Out of nowhere, he was overwhelmed with a fresh wave of emotions, so overpowering that he could not hold back his tears any longer. He let the tears fall, not caring if anyone saw him at such a tender and vulnerable moment. All that mattered was Rin, and the millions of things he wanted to say to her… For letting Obito die, for showing her nothing but cold indifference when she needed him, for abandoning her on that fateful mission in Grass Country, and a thousand other things that he had done wrong. However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get his mouth around the right words. For now, he settled with tears, which seemed to be the easiest way to express everything he was feeling right now._

"_I'm sorry, Rin," he said, his voice quiet and hard to hear over Rin's sobs. "I'm sorry, and I love you too."_

Familiar sobs reached Kakashi's ears, sobs almost identical to the ones in his memory. _Rin? _He jogged over to where the crying had come from.

Kakashi had been walking down an empty street, reminiscing. The rain cleared his senses, even if it did always eventually bring his thoughts back to Obito and Rin. _"It was raining the day she died," _they had told him. Despite this, walks in the rain were one of his favorite pastimes— Whether he really enjoyed them or not was not clear, but he took every opportunity to go out in the rain either way. Other than the occasional drunk, though, he usually never met anyone in the streets.

Kakashi reached the source of the sobs. He saw a girl slumped up against the side of a building, holding her knees. He couldn't see her face, but he _could _hear her choked sobs. "Rin?"

Sakura looked up from where she had been crying. She froze as she recognized the man standing across the street— That silver hair was recognizable anywhere, even in the pouring rain.

Seeing Sakura's pink hair, Kakashi chastised himself. _Of course it's not Rin, _he told himself. _But… Sakura…?_ He ran across the street, stopping in front of her. "Sakura?"

Sakura blinked, unsure of what to do. _At least I don't need to go and find him now… He found me._ "Ka-Kakashi-sensei?" she whispered.

Kakashi crouched down in front of Sakura. "Sakura, what are you doing out here? It's late, and it's pouring outside…" _I wonder… Has she found out?_

_I wonder if he knows that I know… He probably does. _"I… I…" Sakura had left her house in such a rush to find Kakashi, and yet— now that he was here, she wasn't sure what to say to him.

Kakashi narrowed both his eyes— He had not bothered to conceal his Sharingan while walking because he didn't expect to meet anyone.

"Kakashi-sensei, are you… are you my…" Sakura still couldn't bring herself to say it aloud… She felt that, if she did, it would be… final. Irreversible.

_She knows._ Kakashi's eyes softened. He leaned closer to her, whispering, "Sakura, you're going to freeze to death out here if you don't—"

"Kakashi-sensei, are you really my dad?" There it was. She had said it. It was out. She couldn't go back now. All she could do was wait for his answer, his final word that would confirm everything her parents had told her earlier.

Kakashi hesitated, but he knew that he could not lie to her, not now that she knew. He took a deep breath. "… Yes, Sakura. I am."

Sakura's lip trembled. That was it— It was true. _There's no going back. _Although Sakura was having a hard time not crying, she resolved to be strong. _It's the truth, there's no point in fighting it._ If only she were as calm as she was pretending she was…

"Why did you… Why didn't… Why did you…?" Despite her efforts, she felt her voice shaking…

"Sa-Sakura, let me explain—"

And suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore. She stood up, almost slipping in the large puddle by her feet but managing to keep herself steady. "Explain what! Why you abandoned me? Why you and Mom and Dad have been keeping this from me?" Even though she was trying her hardest not to be angry with Kakashi, she couldn't help it. Fresh tears began to stream down her face.

_What should I do? _"Sa-Sakura… Sakura, please, stop— stop crying—"

"Would you be crying if you found out that your dad turned out to be your young, scary, perverted sensei?" Sakura shot at him. Immediately, she regretted it.

Kakashi blinked, unsure of how to react to that. _Young, scary, perverted… Is this really how she views me? _He took a moment to gather his words, then began slowly, "L-Look, Sakura, I know this is… a big shock for you, and that I have a lot of things to explain, but… Just hear me out, okay? Once you've heard what I have to say, you can call me whatever you want because… I probably deserve it."

The tears had temporarily stopped running down her face. She sniffed, her nose running faster than any tears. Rubbing her eyes, she said, "Can we… Can we get out of the rain? I think I'm catching something…"

Kakashi nodded, straightening up. As he watched Sakura wipe her face with the back of her hand, he noticed that she wasn't wearing a coat. "You… You must be freezing," he said. "Would you… like to borrow my jacket?"

Sakura looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Kakashi unzipped his jacket and handed it to her. "Th-Thank you," she murmured, wrapping the oversized coat around herself. The two of them started walking down the street, side-by-side in silence.

As they turned a corner, Kakashi said, "My apartment isn't far from here, if you don't mind going there."

Sakura shook her head. "I don't mind," she said simply. Again, an awkward silence fell between them, both enmeshed in their own thoughts.

_I can't believe this is actually happening, _Sakura thought dully, wrapping Kakashi's coat tighter around her. As she sniffled once more, the scent of the jacket drifted into her nose. _It smells like Kakashi-sensei, _she observed. It was a strange smell… It didn't remind Sakura of anything material, but it seemed to harbor a variety of emotions. Sakura smiled to herself. _That's silly, _she thought. _A coat is a coat, not a person. _Still, she wondered if she would be surrounded by this smell a lot more in the future.

When they reached Kakashi's small apartment, Kakashi unlocked the door and ushered Sakura in. He hung up her coat for her in the closet, shivering slightly.

Sakura stood at the entrance of the apartment, dripping water on the carpet. She wasn't sure where to sit… There was a couch across from her against the window, but she didn't want to get Kakashi's furniture all wet.

Kakashi noticed her situation and assured her, "It's all right, I really don't care if you get anything wet. This apartment's seen a lot worse than just a little rainwater." Sakura slowly walked over to the couch and reluctantly sat down. The smell that the coat had carried was all around her— And this time, a word came to her mind when she searched for what the smell could be: _Loneliness._ _Does loneliness have a smell? _she wondered.

"Would you… like something warm to drink?" Kakashi asked tentatively, poorly masking the nervousness in his voice. "I have cocoa, if it would help."

"Cocoa would be nice," Sakura answered delicately. Kakashi went into the small kitchen area, coming back a few uncomfortable minutes later with a mug of cocoa for her. She took it from his cold, gloved hands with a quiet "Thank you." She took a sip, careful not to burn her tongue.

Kakashi sat in a small chair next to the couch. For what seemed like an eternity, the only sounds were the rain pelting on the window on Sakura's small sips of cocoa. Then, wanting to break the unnerving silence, Kakashi said, "Well… What do you want me to tell you first?"

Sakura put her mug down carefully. _Even now, he doesn't want to tell me more than he has to… _"I want… I want to know how why you couldn't raise me yourself."

_Not beating around the bush at all… I wouldn't expect any less, _Kakashi thought almost bitterly. He looked out the window, watching the rain fall as he considered what to say. "… Rin and I were 15 when… when you were conceived, and 16 when you were born. Because of the shortage of shinobi, Rin was sent on a mission with virtually no backup, despite the fact that she was about seven months pregnant. The mission dragged on much longer than it should have, undoubtedly because Rin would have had a much harder time getting around when she was so heavily pregnant. It was just Rin and a friend of hers, Tsuchikemuri Tenka. From what the people at ANBU gathered, they completed the mission but were gravely wounded. You were found with… with Tenka's body on the edge of a farm not too far from the village. They assumed that Rin… that Rin died during childbirth…" Kakashi paused, composing himself the best he could. His eyes were very wet as he continued. "When… when the Hokage told me what had happened, I… I was still in ANBU, and wasn't in a position to—"

Sakura couldn't stand how professional he sounded about this. She bolted up off the couch, spilling her hot cocoa all over herself. But she didn't care; her voice shaking, she said loudly, "You weren't in a _position _to take care of your newborn daughter? Let me guess— One night you two got a little too cozy in bed and youwere so high off each other that you didn't care whether or not she would get pregnant! Then when she _did _get pregnant and _died _giving birth to your little love child, you couldn't even _look _at me because I was a living, breathing reminder that if you hadn't been so _careless, _she wouldn't have _died _and you wouldn't be responsible for a small, helpless infant!"

Kakashi also stood up. Even if there was some truth buried beneath her angry words, he was angry that she assumed so much. "Sakura I know you're angry —and you have every right to be— but you should still watch your tongue! It's none of your bus—"

"Don't you **_dare _**say that it's not any of my business!" Sakura cried, her voice bordering hysterical. "If I was born because you and your girlfriend were having such a good time that you didn't care whether or not your actions would have a permanent effect, then it's _definitely _my business!"

Kakashi struggled not to lose control of his temper— Sakura was delving too deep, assuming more than she should have. "Sakura, you're— That's not how it was!" _How childish that sounds… _"I know we were careless, but the events didn't play out like that—"

"Don't even _try _to tell me that you two were married, or that you were planning on getting her pregnant!" Sakura practically screamed at him.

Kakashi vented his anger through a very frustrated sigh. "Look, Sakura, we weren't married or anything, but— We knew that we were— what the results of our actions would be, but we were too— We weren't thinking clearly, we didn't consider the fine details—"

"You make it sound like you were _drunk!_"

"We were not _drunk, _we were just— Look, Sakura, I can't explain it to you exactly, but—"

"Look, Kakashi-sensei" —she shuddered at the idea of calling him _"Dad"_— "The point is, I was an accident, wasn't I? And you couldn't accept that Rin had died, and since she died giving birth to _me, _I was linked to her death so deeply that you couldn't care for me!" Although Sakura's anger had cooled down a little, there were still hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Sakura…" Kakashi was unsure what to say, because not so deep down, he knew that she had the basic idea of it. "Let me just clear this up— Rin wasn't just some girl, I really did l-love her, and I wanted to— to spend the r-rest of my l—"

"But that doesn't change the fact that I wasn't meant to be born when you were _16 years old!_" Sakura protested.

Kakashi held his breath, and then sighed. Although it was not really Sakura's place to speak of such things, she had a point, and he couldn't avoid that. "Sakura, do you mind if— If I sat down?" He nodded his head at the couch.

Sakura blinked. "N-no, I don't mind," she said, sitting down herself.

Kakashi walked over and sat down next to her on the couch, ignoring the large stain she had made when she spilled her cocoa. Sakura sniffled loudly; with the edge of his finger, Kakashi gently wiped a tear from her cheek. "I've done a lot of things wrong in my life, but helping to bring you into this world is not something I view as a mistake. He removed his hand and looked away from Sakura, staring out the window behind them. "I mean… I loved Rin with all my heart, and after she died I hated myself, blaming myself for her death. I swore to protect her once, you know… Swore to a dying friend who had put his life before mine at the cost of his own."

Sakura sniffled once more. "It sounds like there's a story there."

Kakashi considered telling Sakura the story of his first mission as a Jonin, but… He didn't think he could bring himself to retell it. Besides, however selfish it might be, he didn't think he could share Obito's final words. That was much too personal.

"Let's just say that a boy— no, a man whom I once considered my inferior turned out to be the greatest friend a shinobi could ever wish for." Kakashi felt tears fighting at the corners of his eyes, and he was having a difficult time suppressing them… "I— I promised him that I would protect Rin with my life. And… he gave me his eye so that he may live on through me, and help me protect the one he had loved." His vision was blurring now as the tears relentlessly fought his efforts to contain them. There was a muffled _plit, plit _as his eyes gave way and a few tears slipped down his face and fell onto the fabric of the couch. "B-But I failed him… Obito trusted me with everything, his eye, his dearest f-friend…"

_Kakashi-sensei is really crying..._

Kakashi tried to say more, but all of the emotions that he had been hiding for so long —the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness, and, above all, the guilt— were finally breaking free and surging forcefully to the surface. He couldn't fight it anymore— He let the tears fall freely down his face, crying as he hadn't cried in years.

Sakura was lost for words. _Wha-What can I do? I-I've never seen Kakashi-sensei cry… _She didn't know what she could do, other than let her sensei, her _father_, cry… And then it came to her… She knew what she could do to help him. _At least, I _hope _it helps…_

Sakura leaned over to him, grasping his hand in hers. "I-It's okay… D-Dad…" The word felt foreign as it rolled off her tongue, and yet… At the same time, it sounded right.

Kakashi looked up at her, tears dripping down his face. "D-Did you just call me…"

Sakura smiled. "I called you what you are."

At first, Kakashi was frozen, unable to believe what he was hearing, but then a smile crept onto his face. Then, in the blink of an eye, father and daughter were holding each other as if they would never let go. Sakura could feel the wet cloth of his mask against the side of her equally wet face. She experienced a peculiar sensation as he began to whisper into her ear— The mask moved with his mouth, and it almost tickled. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I never should have let you go… I love you."

Sakura sniffled, giggling softly. "That sounds so weird…"

Kakashi smiled. "It does, doesn't it?" They broke apart, smiling fondly at each other, and both knew that this was how it was truly meant to be— Even if the family was small, and a little bit broken, if the two of them worked together, they could make the best of it.

* * *

Touching and sappy, eh? Sorry it took so long to get up, it's the longest one yet! I've been busy, and will be, so it might take a bit for Chapter 5, but I'll try my hardest! 


	5. Reaction

Heh heh heh… I lied. I haven't worked on this in such. A long. Time. School started on the 5th of September, so updates may be even less frequent than they have been. Still, I'll try, and the sequel to tbka's "Black Day" has fueled my Kakashi obsession and I'm inspired to write even MORE. I went back to the notebook and was reading and writing some more of this story, so don't worry— I haven't completely abandoned all of you. Thanks for the reviews, always appreciated!

* * *

"WHAT!" Maito Gai was hysterical. It took all of Asuma's strength to stop him from tearing apart the lounge.

"Calm down, will ya?" Asuma said, his face clouded by cigarette smoke. "If you make such a scene, everyone will find out."

"But— But Kakashi can't be a—"

"I said, calm _down!_" Asuma hissed, clamping his hand over Gai's mouth. "If you don't shut up, everyone will find out and Kakashi will personally hand my head to me!"

Gai shut up until they had traveled a safe distance from the building. Once they were out of earshot, he cried, "But Kakashi is _our _age! He's too young! It just can't be!"

Asuma chuckled. "Is it really that surprising? I mean, I've suspected something for a long time, especially when he went to the Hokage after the assignment of the genin squads… This is Kakashi we're talking about, after all."

For once, Gai was lost for words. _It's not possible…_ He searched for any evidence against it. "Aha!" he exclaimed. "If, for the purpose of the conversation, Kakashi is in fact Sakura's father, then who is her mother?" He wore a triumphant look on his face, confident, as always, that he was right.

Asuma took his cigarette out of his mouth, blowing some smoke out. Upon placing it back in, he said dismissively, "She was a girl on Kakashi's squad, Hanano Rin. Dunno if you'd remember her, she usually kept to herself unless she was breaking up Kakashi and that Obito kid."

Gai's face fell; he did indeed remember Rin, the girl who always trailed after Kakashi, hoping to catch his attention. "But… Kakashi didn't—"

"Obito's death changed him a lot," Asuma explained, knowing that if Kakashi ever found out that he was speculating about it aloud he would kill Asuma. "He started appreciating the people around him more, you know that, Gai."

"But… but…" Try as he might, Gai couldn't find a valid reason contradicting Asuma's statements. Still, he would not give in that easily. "I refuse to believe it!" he belted out, forcing Asuma to cover his ears. "I will not believe it until I hear it from Kakashi himself!" And with that, Gai was gone.

Rubbing his ears, Asuma said to himself, "Sheesh… Leave it to Gai to make such a big deal out of things."

"Well, if it's not broken to you gently, it can come as a shock."

Asuma whirled around to see Kurenai walking towards him, hands on her hips. _Darn woman, sneaking up on me like that… _It took Asuma a moment to find his voice, but when he did there was no trace of surprise in it. "You know too?"

"Of course," Kurenai said smoothly. "I heard it from Anko."

"Anko too?" Asuma laughed. "If Kakashi was aware that so many people knew, I doubt he'd be too happy."

"I wonder why it took so long to come out," Kurenai said, stopping in front of Asuma. "Knowing our village, you think people would have found out about it ages ago. After all, Sakura just turned thirteen."

"I think we have the Fourth Hokage to thank for that," Asuma said, leaning against a tree. "After all, he understood Kakashi better than any of us. I'm sure he thought that with the pressures of ANBU and all of those deaths on his shoulders, Kakashi didn't need the gossip of the villagers to make that burden even harder to bear."

"So how did it finally get out?"

Asuma shrugged. "How would I know?"

Frowning slightly, Kurenai said, "Well, you seem to know quite a lot about Kakashi."

"What can I say?" Asuma chuckled. "I've known Kakashi for some time now. As for how the secret is leaking out? My money's on Sakura finding out about her real father. It's just like Kakashi to wait for her thirteenth birthday, huh?"

"He certainly does have a habit of making things harder on himself," Kurenai observed.

"Well, after all of the things that are (according to him) his fault, he wouldn't let himself move on, would he?" Asuma pointed out. "It's like he lives to punish himself sometimes."

"A very unhealthy way to live," Kurenai said, crossing her arms. "If it keeps up, he'll go the same way as Sakumo."

"I'm touched that the two of you take time out of your busy schedules to gossip about me, but I think you'd be better off wasting your time talking about somebody else," came a cool voice from behind a nearby tree.

"K-Kakashi?" Asuma stuttered, his cigarette almost falling out of his mouth in surprise. _We're so screwed…_

Kurenai inwardly cursed her big mouth. _He's not going to like that comment I passed about Sakumo… _"How-How long have you been here?" she asked him.

Even though only one of his eyes was visible, it was clear that Kakashi was very upset. "Long enough," he answered, the anger in his voice painfully clear. "I'm surprised that two of Konoha's jounin find time enough to chat about one of their colleague's personal life, even going so far as to speculate how he's going to take his own life."

_Jeez… He's pretty upset… _Asuma had known Kakashi long enough to know that you _never _let him catch you talking about him behind his back, especially about such a touchy subject. "Look, Kakashi—"

"We have every right to be worried you." Arms still folded across her chest, Kurenai was frowning at Kakashi.

Kakashi blinked, taken by surprise. "Excuse me?"

_She's got guts. _Asuma would have smiled, but the angry aura Kakashi was emitting kept his mouth where it was.

Daring to walk closer to Kakashi, Kurenai said firmly, "I've noticed that you haven't been eating properly— You're far too—"

"Shut up!" Kakashi almost shouted at her. "I'm perfectly aware of what's wrong with me, thank you very much!"

"Hey, cool down, Kakashi," Asuma said, acting calmer than he was. "No need to blow up at her, she's just trying to help you."

"Oh yes, saying I'll go the same way as my father is really helpful," Kakashi snarled.

"You can't use words you weren't supposed to hear against me like that, Kakashi!" Kurenai said angrily. "And if you keep everything bottled up like you have been, then you _will _go out the same way as your father!"

Kakashi was shaking, trying to contain his anger. "You've got a lot of nerve, Kurenai," he said, his voice unsteady. "But I, unlike my father, am not going to take the easy way out and leave others to suffer." With that, Kakashi was gone.

* * *

As Asuma was trying to restrain Gai, Sakura was on her soft, warm bed, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. Last night's events were running through her mind… She and Kakashi hadn't talked that much after he said, "I love you", and he had taken her home. As far as she knew, he had gone back to his apartment after that without exchanging any conversation with her parents. _No, not your parents, _she kept reminding herself. _Kakashi and Rin are your parents. Well, Kakashi, at any rate… _There had been so many more things she had wanted to ask him, but it was getting late and she didn't want the Harunos to worry.

Glancing at the clock, she realized that she was late for practice… again. Sighing, she hopped off the bed, slipping into her sandals. _I hope this doesn't become a habit…_

"Sakura, you're late!" Naruto called out, waving at Sakura as she approached. "So is Kakashi-sensei," he added sourly. "I was hoping he'd be on time again today, but I guess that was just a one-time thing."

Sakura wasn't sure what to say. _Should I tell Naruto and Sasuke about Kakashi-sensei being my father? I mean, if I were them, I'd want to know, but…_

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Naruto asked in his annoying voice. "You look kinda down."

Before Sakura had the chance to respond, Sasuke said coolly, "It's none of your business, Naruto."

Normally, Sakura's face would have turned a deep shade of magenta— Sasuke, defending _her!_ Today, however, she could hardly manage a smile. She was too distracted, even for Sasuke…

Naruto stuck out his tongue at Sasuke. "'It's none of your business!'" he mocked, crossing his eyes and speaking stupidly.

Again, if the circumstances were different, Sakura would have shouted at Naruto for insulting Sasuke, but she hardly even noticed them arguing. She was fighting with herself over whether or not she should just come out and tell the two of them, or if she should keep it a secret. After all, Kakashi had kept it a secret for thirteen years… She shivered. That thought felt sort of ominous, in a way.

Quite suddenly, there was a great poof of smoke. Sakura put up her hand to protect her eyes, coughing. Once the dust had cleared, she found herself looking at the last two people she expected to see.

"Lee?" Naruto asked incredulously. "What are _you_ doing here? And that crazy sensei of yours, too!"

"Upon learning the distressing news from Gai-sensei, I came at once to see Kakashi!" Lee trumpeted, winking at Sakura. Gai was standing next to him, uncharacteristically silent as he shook his head back and forth, again and again.

Sakura felt a little cold. _How does Lee know? And why would he want to see Kakashi-sensei? I can understand Gai, but… Why Lee?_

"'Distressing news'?" Naruto asked, folding his arms across his chest. "Did somebody die or something?"

"Sakura!" Lee almost shouted, completely ignoring Naruto. "Before I speak with him, I must ask you if it's true!"

Without any warning, Gai hit Lee on the back of the head. "Of _course _it's true, Lee!" he said, bitter in a comical sort of way. "I wouldn't've told you if it was a lie!"

"I'm sorry, Gai-sensei!" Lee cried out, rubbing the back of his neck. "I will never doubt your word again!"

"Good," Gai said. He turned to Sakura and, all of a sudden, his eyes started watering. "Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi," he muttered, shaking his head. He looked to the skies, manly tears running down his face. "Why, oh why did you steal his innocence from him so early on in life?" he bellowed to the heavens. "I never thought I'd say this, but his flower of youth bloomed too soon!"

If Gai had been talking about somebody else, Sakura would have found herself stifling laughter. However, that was not the case, and she was dearly wishing that Gai would shut his mouth and stop shouting it to the world like that…

"Lee, what is your sensei babbling about?" Naruto asked Lee. "What the heck does he mean, 'flower of youth'?"

"It's truly a sad thing," Gai said, not giving Lee a chance to answer. "I mean, I never imagined that my eternal rival would beat me in _that _department, not so soon."

"What, what is he talking about?" Naruto demanded, bobbing up and down impatiently.

"Where is Kakashi-sensei?" Lee cried out, looking wildly around. "He should be here, shouldn't he, Gai-sensei?"

Gai let out a little chuckle. "Kakashi has been late for years," he said, now with the air of a nostalgic person. "I can't remember the last time he was on time to a meeting, really I can't…" He sighed. "But, I digress—"

He was cut short by the arrival of the subject of their conversation— None other than Kakashi himself.

"Gai?" he asked, blinking. "What are you—"

"Oh, Kakashi, say it ain't so!" Gai wailed.

Kakashi's eye narrowed. He looked like he was about to say something (it was sometimes hard to tell because his mouth was covered by a mask), but was interrupted by Lee.

Lee had run up to Kakashi and was now on one knee in front of him, an entirely serious look on his face.

"Hatake Kakashi-san!" he said, one hand over his heart as if pledging himself to something. "I am humbly asking for your permission to date your daughter!"

Dead silence.

"Your WHAT?" Naruto boomed, shattering the silence.

More silence.

"I _said, _your WHAT?" Naruto repeated. No one responded— Sakura was looking from Gai to Kakashi fearfully; Gai was staring at Kakashi with wide, tear-filled eyes; Sasuke had an eyebrow arched, showing interest in spite of himself; Lee was still in that ridiculous pose, giving Kakashi a determined, non-blinking look. Kakashi himself looked slightly panicked, as if he had just been thrust into the spotlight and hadn't prepared an act.

"I—I—" he began, searching for the right words— Everyone was giving him a strange look, and he was uncharacteristically feeling the pressure.

Gai, however, was feeling completely in character, and, as always, didn't give the speaker a chance to finish. "Noooo!" he wailed, the abnormally large tears streaming freely again. "If Kakashi is truly lost for words, then it _must _be so!" He sniffled theatrically, wiping his nose with the back of his arm (Sakura would have cringed, were the situation different). "Go on, Lee, carry on," he said, waving a hand in Lee's general direction and sounding as if he had a bad head cold. "Pay no heed to my tears— You've got a mission to carry out."

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee said, saluting the still sobbing Gai. "Hatake Kaka—"

"Hold the phone, Bushy Brows!" Naruto shouted, holding up a hand. "I demand to know what's going on here!" He looked around at the assembled group of people. "I'm sure we _all _want to know what's going on here, don't we?"

"Leave me out of this," Sasuke muttered, although the confusion written all over his face betrayed him.

Naruto threw Sasuke a dirty look, but returned his attention to Kakashi almost immediately. "What in the name of _ramen _is Bushy Brows yapping about?"

_Honestly! _Inner Sakura raged. _How clueless can you get!_ Sakura ignored her inner self, though, and kept her wide eyes on Naruto, occasionally glancing back at Kakashi.

Still, no one could bring themselves to actually answer Naruto. So, as was inevitable, his brain began to piece two and two together…

And then, slowly, a look of sheer terror crawled across his face. "No—WAY—" he choked out, looking from Kakashi to Sakura to Gai and back to Kakashi. "B-But—"

Kakashi coughed (nervously?) into his gloved hand, then attempted to begin, "Naruto, let me—"

"YOU'RE A DIRTY MAN, KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

* * *

Again, sorry it took an unimaginably long time to come out, buuuut, I hope you enjoyed it! 


	6. Raining

I'm dedicating this chapter to a certain character who died in chapter 328. If you know who he is (which most people do), please do not spoil it in the reviews for the people who don't. I myself cried at the end of that chapter.

Anyhoo, sorry for taking such an uber-long time to update. I recently got a few reviews and they reminded me that there are people who have expressed interest in this story and have told me that they want me to continue with it. Thanks a million, guys.

* * *

Sakura winced. _Did he really have to say it like that…?_

"YOU'RE A DIRTY MAN, KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto repeated, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi, whose one visible eye was wide with surprise.

"Naruto—"

"JUST HOW OLD _ARE _YOU?" Naruto shouted, his voice drowning out Kakashi's attempt to override him.

Kakashi sounded as if he was trying to say something, but his words were buried underneath Gai's continuous sobbing. "I never thought I'd see the day!" he wailed, shaking his head vigorously from side to side. "Kakashi, a—" (he almost choked on the last word) "—_father!_"

Sasuke's eyes were wide and almost comical. "No… way…" he whispered, staring at Kakashi as though he had never seen him properly before.

Kakashi coughed once more, then said loudly, "Don't you have a mission for your squad today, Gai?"

Gai's sobs stopped abruptly. "Mission?" he croaked. "My only _mission _was to confirm the rumors that have been floating about!" He sniffled wildly. "Besides, Lee had his own mission, and I felt the need to supervise it."

Before Kakashi got a chance to respond to that, Naruto coughed audibly. "Aren't we forgetting something here?" he asked, his eyes practically bulging out of his head. "Is Kakashi-sensei Sakura's fa-fa-fath—"

Kakashi coughed, interrupting the question that Naruto already knew the answer to. "Gai," he said darkly, "if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to my team alone."

Gai waved his hand in agreement, still blowing his nose on his sleeve. "Of course, Kakashi, of course," he muttered, taking Lee by the shoulder and leading him away. "Another time, Lee, another time."

"But, Gai-sensei—"

"Quiet, Lee, or else it's 700 laps around the school!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!"

The sounds of Lee's praises and Gai's sobs eventually faded. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, nagging at all of them. Finally, Naruto broke it, bursting out, "Kakashi-sensei, are you REALLY Sakura's—" he took a deep breath "—_father_?"

Sasuke held his breath, waiting for an answer but not daring to show that he cared. After all, it was a big deal, your sensei turning out to be the father of one of his pupils. Sakura's lip was shaking, but she thought she ought to leave Kakashi to reveal their little secret.

Kakashi himself took a deep breath, bracing himself for Naruto's reaction. Oh, sure, Naruto had already done a fair bit of shouting, but that was just the teaser. Once the news had been confirmed, he would be bandaging his ears because of all of the accusations and insults.

"…Yes, Naruto, I am."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "But, how is that possible?"

Kakashi sighed, carefully weighing what Naruto needed to know and what was just excess information. "Is there a way it could be impossible?" he asked, stalling while he still tried to figure out exactly what to say.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but his voice faltered when his brain did not supply him with an immediate answer. He struggled for several moments, finally releasing his breath and mumbling, "I guess it's possible…"

A sudden thought struck Naruto, and before Kakashi had a chance to say anything, he asked, "Has Sakura been living with you?" He looked rather frightened at the prospect.

"No, no," Kakashi said, shaking his head. "She—"

"I just found out," Sakura spoke up. Kakashi noticed that her voice was a tad shaky. "I've been living with foster parents."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, saying nothing. Naruto, on the other hand, blurted out, "Why?"

"That's none of your business, Naruto," Kakashi said quickly, folding his arms across his chest. "Now, if we could move on to—"

"Wait wait wait wait wait," Naruto said, waving his hands around frantically. "This doesn't make any sense! How old are you, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi debated answering, but decided he might as well. "Not that it's any of your business, Naruto, but I'm 29. And the answer to your next question is 16 years old."

Naruto's mouth opened and closed soundlessly several times before he gathered his wits and said, "Is Sakura going to live with you now?"

Neither Kakashi nor Sakura answered immediately. Sakura's previously downcast eyes widened as she looked first at Naruto, and then at Kakashi. Similarly, Kakashi was temporarily lost for words. He blinked once or twice, trying to figure out how to best answer that question. Finally, he said, "There are lots of details that still need to be smoothed out, Naruto." When Naruto did not immediately respond, he said, "Now, I don't want any more questions. We've got a mission today, and I want everyone to be focused. Understand?"

The others nodded in agreement. Without another word, the four of them left for the mission site.

* * *

As promised, no one mentioned Sakura and Kakashi's relationship during the mission. They stood assembled outside of Konoha's gates afterward, the setting sun casting elongated shadows.

"See you tomorrow," Sakura said, walking through the gates towards her house. No one said anything as she left; they just watched her walk away until she turned a corner and was out of sight. Her departure was followed by more uncomfortable silence, until Naruto dared to break it.

"Kakashi-sensei?" he asked timidly.

"What?" Kakashi responded, more sharply than usual.

"Who is Sakura's mother?"

Kakashi did not look at Naruto as he was gathering his thoughts, deciding how to answer. His eye was locked firmly on the inky characters decorating the gates, but he was not really seeing them. "Her name was Rin Hanano," he said slowly.

Naruto hesitated, then resolved to see the inquiry the whole way through.

"Is she…?"

He didn't need to finish his question. Kakashi did not move, still staring at the shadowy gates as if he could burn a hole through the faded wood. Finally, he said quietly, "They say she died during childbirth. She was on a mission, so no one knows for sure."

"She was on a mission? When she was pregnant?" Naruto pestered, unable to stop himself. "Why?"

Kakashi turned his head sharply. "How am I supposed to know?" he snapped. "How am I supposed to know what was going through the Fourth Hokage's mind when he sent Rin out into hostile territory when she was over seven months pregnant?"

Naruto blinked, taking a step back. Sasuke hovered moodily in the background, silently watching the scene unfold.

"I'm—I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled, looking at his feet. He regretted ever bringing up Sakura's mother.

Kakashi held his position for a moment, then shook his head. "Don't apologize," he muttered, inwardly cursing himself for snapping at Naruto like that. Turning his head back to gaze aimlessly at the gate, he repeated, "Don't apologize."

Uncomfortable silence enveloped them again. As the sun slowly sank over the canopy of trees surrounding Konoha, Naruto felt a droplet of rain on his hair. He looked up, squinting to see the billowing clouds that had amassed over the village. The others soon followed suit, glancing upwards to see the source of rain.

"It was raining the day she died."

Kakashi blinked, looking around for the source of the voice. Naruto and Sasuke had mysteriously disappeared, but someone else was there, someone who Kakashi's brain knew couldn't be. She was standing alone about twenty feet from where Kakashi stood, gripping one arm with the other.

"Kakashi," she choked, tears running down her face. She was not looking him in the eye; rather, her gaze was fixed on the ground beside her. "What have you done? What have you done to our daughter?"

Kakashi blinked again. _Rin?_

"You and sensei, Kakashi," Rin said, shaking her head back and forth, biting her lower lip. "You and sensei killed me, Kakashi. You killed me, but you hid it from our daughter. What have you done to her, Kakashi? What have you done?"

Kakashi could not speak. _She's dead, Kakashi, _a small voice in the deep recesses of his mind was telling him. _She's dead, and there's no way she can be standing in front of you. _Kakashi was ignoring this voice, though— He was too bewildered by the appearance of Rin to say anything.

"You and sensei, Kakashi," she kept repeating. "Sensei and Kakashi, Kakashi and sensei, sensei Kakashi, Kakashi sensei…"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

The image of Rin was shattered as Naruto's voice pierced Kakashi's mind like a sharp dagger. Naruto and Sasuke replaced her, Sasuke looking mildly concerned and Naruto looking genuinely worried. "Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi blinked yet again, still trying to erase the phantom image of Rin from his mind's eye. _It was the rain, _he told himself. _The rain made me think of her. _This wasn't the first time he had imagined seeing Rin, but she had never replaced his surroundings like that. He had to be more careful in the future…

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto repeated. "Kakashi-sensei, are you okay?"

It was then that Kakashi realized that his face was wet. He shakily lifted a hand to his cheek, feeling a tear or two. _I was crying?_

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Sliding his hand into his pocket, Kakashi said, "I'm fine, Naruto, I'm fine."

"But—"

"I'm _fine, _Naruto," Kakashi said again, a hint of steel in his tone. "I just wasn't thinking, that's all."

The worried frown did not leave Naruto's face. "Like I said, I'm sorry for—"

Kakashi cut him off, shaking his head. "It's nothing, Naruto. _Really,_" he added sternly. Naruto looked as if he were going to say more, but Sasuke threw him a scathing look and Naruto let out a rather forced, "Ok. See you tomorrow." He walked silently past Kakashi, purposely averting his eyes. Sasuke did the same, although it did not feel as strange, it did not feel as if Sasuke were alienating himself from Kakashi because Sasuke always acted like that. Still, there was some coldness there, some brisk indifference in the way he returned to the village. Kakashi let them walk past him in silence, not daring to say anything more.

The rain continued to pelt down around him, drenching him in its sinful purity. The image of Rin kept appearing in his mind, the ghost of her image still appearing now and then in front of her eyes. Other images passed in front of his mismatched eyes as well; images of Obito, of Yondaime, and a range of other people… including his father. Sakumo's face kept fading in and out of view, his tall form silhouetted against the moon as Kakashi looked up to the stormy night sky. _Apparently, exceptional fatherhood doesn't run in this family, _he thought bitterly. His father had screwed up too; of course, Sakumo had sometimes paid _too _much attention to his son, whereas Kakashi had tried his best not to pay any attention to Sakura for the better part of thirteen years.

"What would you say?" Kakashi asked the cold breeze softly as it whistled past him, sending shivers down his spine. "If you saw that this family is more messed up than ours was, what would you say?" The wind provided no answer in Sakumo's deep, commanding voice, but it did gust past Kakashi rather fiercely. Tilting his head backwards so that his chin was sticking up and his face was almost parallel with the billowing black clouds, he said quietly, "I didn't think you'd approve."

Kakashi stood there for the longest time, unaware of the passage of time or the steady rainfall. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he did not notice anyone approaching him until she was standing right behind him.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi's head snapped to the side, both of his eyes widened in shock. He had removed his headband what could have been hours earlier, and now both of his eyes came to rest on those of the purple-haired kunoichi hovering behind him.

"Anko?" Kakashi said, turning his body around fully so that he could properly face her. "What are you—"

"That's what I should be asking you," Anko retorted, folding her arms across her chest. "You've been standing out here for hours, Asuma thought someone ought to check on you or you'd catch your death of cold."

Shoving his hands nonchalantly into his pockets, Kakashi said, "Asuma knows that I've survived in colder rain for longer than this." He slipped his forehead protector over his Sharingan and added, "Chances are he just wanted to make a fool of me by sending you to fetch me in the rain."

Anko cocked her head to one side, her tongue sticking out slightly. She was carefully scrutinizing Kakashi, taking in his sopping wet appearance. Finally, a grin stretched across her face and she declared, "Come and dry off at the bar, why don't you? Asuma and Gai and everybody else are already there, and we've been gossiping about you, of course, but after awhile we realized that it's no fun unless you're there to hear it."

Kakashi blinked once, then smirked and said, "No thanks, I think I'll pass." Repressing a violent shiver, he added, "Besides, I've got to lay off on the late nights at the bar from now on."

At first Anko didn't really comprehend, but then a knowing smile crept onto her face that was much more mature than the playful grin she usually wore. "Of course, you've got to set a good example," she said, her tone about as serious as Kakashi ever heard it with just a hint of sarcasm. "Now that you're a father."

"I've been a father for thirteen years, Anko," Kakashi said bitterly, walking towards the gates of Konoha. "It's now that I actually take responsibility."

The edges of Anko's smile drooped down a tad, but she patted Kakashi sympathetically on the back and said, "Nah, don't be so hard on yourself." She paused, then laughed, "Still, I don't envy the girl, having to live in that dump!"

Even though the joke was an insult directed at him, Kakashi couldn't help but smiling just a little bit.

* * *

Hope you liked it! Sorry if it seemed too angsty, or if you don't like the whole "Kakashi sometimes hallucinates about his past" angle. I'm trying to keep the angst to a dull roar. ::wink:: 


	7. Decisions

Woot, forty reviews! It's my lucky day! Thanks a million, guys, I really appreciate the reviews. Ah, there are so many avenues that I could potentially explore with this story… Somehow I feel a spin-off will inevitably be in order. ::sighs:: It has recently occurred to me that the characters in my fic blink an awful lot. It has also just occurred to me that, taken out of context, lots of this material could sound like KakaSaku shipping. Oo Oh, and let me clear one thing up: I'm still deciding on the pairings, although I've got a vague idea of where I'm going in the romance department. And as a little side note, Happy belated birthday to the fourth Harry Potter movie.

* * *

"Sakura, how could you?" Naruto shouted, tears streaming down his face. "How could you hide something like that for so many years?" He threw the bouquet of roses he had been hiding behind his back into the muddy ground, giving Sakura the dirtiest look he could muster. "I thought we were lovers, but I guess I just wasn't important enough to you to tell!"

"Naruto, it's not like that!" Sakura protested. "I didn't know either!"

"Sakura, it is all right!" Lee's shouted, wrapping Sakura into a tight bear hug. He was dressed in a smart black tuxedo, and the carnation Naruto had pinned to his shirt on Sakura's birthday was entangled in his hair. "I am here for you!"

As Sakura struggled against Lee's grip, she saw Kakashi lurking behind Naruto, his arm around a faceless woman. Sakura felt herself released from Lee's grip as the green, sunny scenery was replaced by a swirling darkness. Kakashi and the woman were still there; the woman laid her head, which was shrouded in shadows, on Kakashi's shoulder. Sakura ran towards them, but they just seemed to be getting farther and farther away. "Don't go!" Sakura cried out, reaching out towards Kakashi and the woman as tears started to leak out of her bright green eyes. "Don't go away!"

Kakashi reached towards his headband and pulled it off, holding it loosely with his hand as his arm dangled at his side. The Sharingan leapt out at Sakura, making her shriek in horror as it advanced toward her, the comma-shaped marks spinning rapidly. "No, no, stop!" she cried, holding up her arms as if to ward the eye away. "I just wanted to see her!"

"You can't see her, Sakura!" Kakashi called out, his voice echoing and fading away. "You will never see her! She's dead! We killed her, Sakura, the two of us killed her together!"

"No, no, NO!" Sakura screamed, now trying to turn away from the hypnotically spinning eye. It would not let her, though; a powerful force seemed to be drawing her towards it, and she could not look away. "We didn't kill her!"

Kakashi threw back his head and laughed, although the laugh was quite unlike his own. It was high-pitched and cold, more of a cruel cackle than a laugh. The ghostly laughter ricocheted around Sakura's head, making her clutch her hair and scream in protest as it pierced her ears and blocked out all other sounds. She was surrounded by red, the Sharingan completely engulfing her, and the laughter would not stop, it just kept going on and on inside her head until—

"Sakura!"

Sakura bolted up in bed, still screaming, still clutching at her head. Mrs. Haruno was holding her by the shoulders, her face white as a sheet. "Sakura!" she repeated, shaking Sakura slightly. "Sakura, it's okay, you're awake now!"

For a moment, Sakura kept screaming, still unaware that the sound was coming out of her mouth. As soon as she realized that, though, the shrieks died and were replaced by faint choking noises; she was crying. She held a trembling hand up to her face and found that there were tried tears there as well as wet ones. _It was only a dream…_

"Sakura, are you all right, dear?" Mrs. Haruno asked hurriedly, concern etched into her face.

_I was screaming in my sleep, what do YOU think? _Inner Sakura raged. Sakura managed a shaky smile; if Inner Sakura was still there, she couldn't be _that _shaken up. "I'm… I just… It was just a nightmare," Sakura answered quietly, still trying to recover completely.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Mrs. Haruno insisted, not falling for Sakura's feeble charade of emotional security. "I—"

"Chinatsu!" Mr. Haruno was calling his wife from downstairs. "There's someone at the door!"

Mrs. Haruno hesitated, glancing at Sakura, who smiled in what was supposed to be an assuring fashion. "Go on, Mom," she said softly. "It must be important if they're here at this time of night."

With a final uneasy glance at Sakura, Mrs. Haruno left the room, shouting, "Honey, why can't you get the door?"

"I'm not dressed," Mr. Haruno said, gesturing towards his bathrobe. Sighing, Mrs. Haruno walked briskly towards the door.

Wondering who in the world would come to call in the middle of the night, Mrs. Haruno unlocked the door and opened it up a crack to see who was there. A cold draft drifted in, making her shiver. "Wh-Who's there?" she asked; the bulb in their porch light had recently died and they had not gotten around to replacing it, so it was too dark to see anything.

A tall man stepped forward, bringing the stench of cigarette smoke with him. "Name's Sarutobi Asuma," he said, his voice gruff. "And I've got Hatake Kakashi with me."

Mrs. Haruno opened the door wider, turning her head upwards so that she could see the face of the man standing on her doorstep. "Third Hokage" popped into her head almost immediately, but dead men rarely come knocking on people's doors; she assumed it must be his son. Standing behind him, still shrouded in darkness for the most part, was a shorter (but still tall) man with gravity-defying, spiky silver hair. He was not wearing his Konoha uniform; instead, he wore a shabby blue coat and a tattered red scarf. Her entire body went cold, and it had nothing to do with the chilling night air. _Sakura's father…_

The Third Hokage's son, Sarutobi Asuma, bowed respectfully, asking, "May we come in?"

"Of-Of course," Mrs. Haruno murmured, stepping aside so as to let them in. Asuma entered first, followed by the silent man with the silver hair, Hatake Kakashi. The latter gave Mrs. Haruno a deep bow but averted his eyes, both of which were uncovered. Mrs. Haruno shivered when she saw the scar running across his mismatching red eye, but said nothing.

Mr. Haruno's eyes widened as he saw his wife closing their front door behind two of Konoha's shinobi. He wondered which one was Sakura's father; he had heard of the man, but had never actually seen him.

"Ichiro," Mrs. Haruno said shakily, gesturing towards the silver-haired man, "this is Sakura's father, Hatake Kakashi."

_Well, that answers my question… _Mr. Haruno observed the man who had been identified as Sakura's father; he seemed a little bit frightening (what with his mismatching eyes) and very subdued, his eyes locked on the carpet.

"I apologize for the intrusion," Asuma said, facing Mr. Haruno and bowing. "I'm Sarutobi Asuma, a friend of Kakashi's." Mr. Haruno inclined his head to both of them as Kakashi bowed as well. Straightening up, Asuma said, "We came to discuss Sakura with you."

"Please, sit down," Mrs. Haruno said, walking over to the sitting room and motioning towards the couch. Asuma strode after her, Kakashi following him in such a manner that suggested he did not want to draw any attention to himself. The two of them sat down on the couch, Asuma looking determined and Kakashi's expression unreadable.

"Do you want us to get Sakura?" Mr. Haruno asked, unconsciously tightening his bathrobe.

Kakashi shook his head. "No," he said, speaking for the first time that night. When he did not explain further, Asuma said, "That's why we're bothering you so late— Kakashi wanted to talk to you in private."

"Why are you here?" Mr. Haruno couldn't keep himself from asking, even though it came off as sounding very rude.

Shooting Kakashi a sideways glance, Asuma said in a low voice, "Support."

Kakashi coughed, straightening up and looking directly at Mrs. Haruno. "I'd like to apologize," he began, his voice clear but unmistakably rather nervous. "I… I don't know where to begin…" He coughed again, uncomfortably aware that all eyes were on him. "First of all… First of all, I'd like to express my thanks to the two of you for caring for Sakura all of these years. It means so much to me that… that she grew up in such a good home, knowing the love of two parents… That is something I would never have been able to give her, and I couldn't possibly thank you enough for taking such good care of her." He paused, recollecting his thoughts, then continued, "I'm… I'm sorry for being so irresponsible when I was younger… It was foolish of me to have— to have a child so early, and… I don't know if it was ever properly explained to you or not, but I—"

"Was in ANBU at the time, and was unable to take raise a child because your skills were needed in the war," Mrs. Haruno recited, frowning slightly. "The Fourth Hokage told us at the time."

Kakashi's eyes did not leave her face, but upon seeing the frown she was wearing, _something _flickered in his eye… Mrs. Haruno couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, though. "I see," he said simply. An uncomfortable silence temporarily fell as Kakashi tried to piece together exactly what he wanted to say; he had had little success planning on the way to the Harunos. The silence was broken by the sound of a not-so-distant sneeze. Everyone looked to the staircase to see Sakura crouched behind the banisters, trying and failing to hide from their view.

"Sakura?" Mrs. Haruno said, putting her hands on her hips. "What are you doing? You should be asleep, dear!"

Sakura bolted up, running down the stairs. "I want to hear what's going on!" she demanded, planting herself firmly on the bottommost carpeted stair. "After all, it's about me, isn't it?"

"Sakura, the adults are trying to talk right now," Mrs. Haruno said, forcing herself to keep her voice steady and full. She was betraying her instincts by trying to send Sakura back to bed, but she could tell that Mr. Hatake was relatively serious about wanting to speak to the Harunos in private (with the obvious exception of Asuma's company).

Her face set, Sakura folded her arms across her chest. "I don't want anyone deciding anything without me here," she stated, glaring at her foster mother. "It's my future you're going to talk about, I know it. That is what you're here to talk about, isn't it, Kakashi-sensei?" She shifted her gaze to Kakashi, who was leaning forward, his hands clasped in his lap. He looked as if he were close to going a tad overboard emotionally; his eyebrows in particular were almost quivering.

"Sakura, I… I really did want to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Haruno in private—"

"Why can't I be here too?" Sakura protested. "I want a say in what happens to me!"

Asuma rose to his feet, which was, because of his height, quite an impressive move. "Listen, miss," he said, looking directly at Sakura, "why don't you let us talk things over for a bit, then let you chime in later, okay?"

"But—"

"Sakura, there are some things that we really need to discuss as adults," Kakashi said softly, also focusing his gaze on Sakura. "I know you want to listen to everything we say, but we'll answer any of your questions after we're done talking."

Sakura's defiant green eyes met his sincere mismatched ones, and it was if her will was immediately bent. "Fine," she sighed huffily, standing up and marching upstairs. "But you'd better call me when you're done."

They waited to resume their conversation until they heard Sakura's door slam shut. Mrs. Haruno turned to Kakashi, her expression hard to read. "It seems she's already accepting your authority."

Kakashi was not looking at her; his eyes had come to rest at the point where Sakura had disappeared from view. "Perhaps," he said softly. "But she probably just decided not to argue for the time being."

Mrs. Haruno watched him for a moment in silence, waiting for someone (preferably him) to say something. Asuma sat back down with an almost grumpy expression on his face, but no one spoke. When it became apparent that no one was prepared to bring them back to the topic they were discussing, however, she cleared her throat and said, "What were you saying, Mr. Hatake?"

Kakashi's attention snapped back to Mrs. Haruno, the same troubled expression still decorating his masked face. "My apologies," he said quickly, hastily recomposing himself. "At the time of Sakura's birth, I was young and foolish… After the war ended, there was still a major shortage of shinobi and it was requested that I stayed in full service until the number had been brought back up to normal… Then Konoha suffered the attack of the Nine-tailed fox and lost even _more _shinobi, as well as the Fourth Hokage… Because of this, I decided to remain a fully operating shinobi. However, even after Konoha had fully recovered from both the Kyuubi attack and the war, I procrastinated and procrastinated…" He coughed again, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. "Which brings us to the present. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to finally… to finally come to grips with everything, but… I am fully accepting my responsibilities as Sakura's father now."

At first, there was an awkward silence. Mr. Haruno eventually nodded firmly, saying, "Well… that's good, then."

"Is Sakura… Is Sakura going to live with you now?" Mrs. Haruno asked timidly, trying to imagine such a thing.

"It seems fitting," Kakashi said slowly, "unless you have any objections." He straightened up delicately, looking directly at the Harunos now.

"Well, I think it best to let Sakura decide," Mrs. Haruno said carefully. She walked over to the foot of the staircase. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she called, "Sakura! You can come down now!"

Sakura came bolting down the staircase; she had propped herself up against her bedroom door, determined not to fall asleep and let them decide anything without her. Her face was flushed and she seemed very flustered.

"Sakura, dear," Mrs. Haruno began as Sakura sat herself down in a chair facing the couch at an angle, "seeing as Mr. Hatake is your father, we thought it would make the most sense if you—"

"Live with him?" Sakura finished, her tone suddenly very level and her face very calm. Both of her eyes were set on her foster mother. "In his apartment?"

"Well, naturally, if you didn't want to—"

Sakura cut Mrs. Haruno off. "It's just…" her brow twitched slightly, her determined demeanor starting to waver. "He's… he's my _sensei_… I think of his as my _sensei… _not my _father…_"

"No matter how you think of him, Sakura, it doesn't change who he is," Asuma pointed out, leaning forward almost eagerly but with a very serious expression on his face, his cigarette still smoking in between his fingers. "He's your father regardless, and you can't change that."

"I know that I can't change it!" Sakura said, almost angrily. Mrs. Haruno shot Asuma a mistrusting look, which he scowled at.

"I'm just stating the facts," he growled. "If you can't deal with that, ma'am—"

"Asuma," Kakashi said quietly, "let Sakura make her decision on her own." He was not looking at Asuma when he said this; his gaze was locked firmly on Sakura.

Sakura turned her head so that she could see Kakashi properly, their eyes meeting. Kakashi wore a subtly determined look on his face, whereas Sakura looked as if she were borderlining distress. "I…" she began slowly, "I mean, I guess it makes sense to live with Kakashi-sensei… He _is _my f-father, after all…" She gulped, her eyes a little watery, but as she and Kakashi continued to look solely at each other, her expression hardened, the fire coming back to her eyes. "But it's what we have to do, isn't it?" She was now speaking directly to Kakashi. "We have to bring our crumbling family back together, right?" She met Kakashi's gaze expectantly as if she had just challenged him.

Hesitating for only the shortest instant, Kakashi nodded his head up and down once. "Of course," he said softly. He stood up, buttoning up his jacket. "That's all I came to discuss," he said, his voice regaining some of its usual composure. "If there is nothing else you wish to confirm or talk about, Asuma and I will leave you in peace."

"There's nothing else," Mrs. Haruno said, "except, well… When will Sakura be moving in with you?"

"As soon as it is convenient for you," Kakashi responded. "Of course, I will need a few days to… to clear things up a bit."

"Of course," Mr. Haruno said, nodding his head curtly.

Asuma stood up too, pulling out a battered lighter and a fresh cigarette. "Sorry to trouble you so late at night," he said, as he and Kakashi turned to leave. "It shouldn't happen again." Both of the jonin bowed respectfully as they passed the Harunos, avoiding eye contact. As Kakashi straightened up, Sakura caught his eye. She looked… well, it was hard to determine the feelings her expression was conveying. Kakashi responded with an equally unfathomable look; he couldn't bring himself to smile. Without another word (save a curt "Good night" from Asuma), the two of them left the house, shutting the door behind them.

* * *

Kakashi and Asuma took their time walking down the street, neither of them saying a word. The silence was both comforting and disconcerting at the same time; neither of them could bring themselves to break it. Neither of them were planning too, either, until a raindrop fell on the tip of Asuma's cigarette, putting it out with an inaudible sizzle.

"What a waste," he muttered, tossing the ruined cigarette to the ground. Kakashi said nothing, continuing to walk past the closed shops in silence. Asuma shot him a sideways glance, wondering if he should dare to say something. H was opend his mouth, planning to offer words of comfort or warning or anything, just anything to break the silence that was punctured only by the steady pattering of the rain as its droplets pelted the road. "The weather always mirrors the mood, doesn't it?" he said, almost immediately regretting it; his voice sounded so horribly falsely cheery.

Kakashi looked up at the sky, closing his eyes as he let the raindrops run down his face. "If the weather mirrored my mood," he said slowly, "it would always be raining."

Asuma chuckled in spite of himself. "Always the optimist, eh, Kakashi?" he said playfully, elbowing Kakashi in a brotherly sort of way.

"…" Kakashi said nothing at first, allowing Asuma's comment to hang in the air. Finally, he muttered, "Asuma… Thanks."

Asuma smiled, knowing how much it must cost Kakashi to abandon his pride and say that.

"Don't mention it."

* * *

Meh, it was sort of a long but boring chapter… Not much happened… Still, I felt it was entirely necessary (for the most part). Exposition is a fickle friend… But it was a bad ending, too. Meh... oh well. I just had to slap something down, it was killing me. 


	8. Man's Best Friend

This one is in celebration of the Naruto fillers ending, of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix trailer (yours truly went to Happy Feet just to see it), of my thirteenth birthday that happened on Saturday the 9th (I don't have to pretend I was born in 1992 anymore!), my new iPod nano that is all the love and, last but as far as possible from least, MY STORY HAS OVER 50 REVIEWS! This got me back on the fan fiction trail (as well as listening to Christmas jingles— go figure). See, I started chapter 8 but… quite frankly, what I had was terrible. So I pushed it aside, trying to smile at but generally turn a blind eye to the review alerts coming into my inbox… however, I finally gave in. Copy and paste is Eldr's friend. Oh, and sometimes for an allegedly "smart kid" I'm really stupid, so… Is there any way to edit chapters after they've already been posted without replacing the chapter that is already in existence with a new document?

* * *

As Kakashi dropped yet another box of his belongings onto the living room floor, a flurry of dust flew up, squeezing through his mask and circulating through his sinuses. He sneezed, fanning it away from him.

"How dust enters your nose when you're wearing that mask will forever remain a mystery to me, Kakashi." Pakkun's gruff voice floated out from underneath the couch where he had been sleeping, his nose poking out and wiggling around as he sniffed the cardboard box.

Kakashi chose not to respond; he was used to Pakkun's little cracks about his appearance. If it wasn't his mask, he'd be hearing about his hair, his headband, even his Jonin uniform… Pakkun always seemed to have something to complain about.

"It's so early, Kakashi," Pakkun yawned, setting his jowls aquiver. "Are you planning on getting any sleep at all tonight?" Again, no response. Pakkun decided to change tact, determined to get Kakashi to say _something._

"So, cleaning out the apartment to make room for Sakura?" he said, the mockery growing more evident in his tone. "Gotta give the _lady _some elbow space, eh, Kakashi?"

"You make it sound as if she's my lover, not my daughter, Pakkun," Kakashi said, sounding half-annoyed. He straightened up, brushing the dust off of his already dirty pants. "Of course I have to make room for her, do you really expect me to force her to sleep in my room?"

Pakkun wriggled around a little, scooching out from underneath the couch so that his head was fully visible. He put on his most pitiful face, complete with the trademark puppy dug eyes and pouting upper lip. "That doesn't mean you have to give her _my _room," he sulked, whimpering just in case Kakashi couldn't take a hint.

"Stop whining," Kakashi said, walking back over to the room that doubled as both a storage room and, up until recently, Pakkun's personal space. He returned, carrying a box labeled FRAGILE and setting it down carefully next to the last one.

Pakkun's nose perked up as the new box arrived (along with another cloud of dust); he slithered out from beneath the couch and trotted up to sniff it properly. "What's in here, Kakashi?" he asked, pawing at the fraying cardboard sides.

"Photographs," Kakashi said dismissively, nudging Pakkun away from the box with his sandaled foot. "Don't get your dirty paws all over them."

"So mistrusting, Kakashi!" Pakkun complained, hoisting himself up so that he could poke his nose into the box's contents. "It's not as if they aren't already dusty." He scanned the photographs lazily with his half-closed eyes. "I never knew you were such a packrat, Kakashi…" There were photos from all periods in Kakashi's life meticulously piled on top of each other. _Of course, they're all he has left to remember people, aside from whatever memories he's already got in that head of his… _Pakkun shook his head back and forth rapidly, trying to rid himself of the nostalgia that was overwhelming him as he looked over the photographs. Of course, Pakkun and Kakashi only went back so far, so he could only relate to some of them. It seemed that each one of the faded images was a snapshot of Kakashi at a different stage: there were photos as recent as his time with Team 7, but then there were others dating back to his childhood, before he wore his mask and was recognized as a genius.

"I didn't think you kept any record of what your face looks like, Kakashi," Pakkun teased. "You've always been so sensitive about your looks." Kakashi, who was rummaging around in his closet to find a broom, chose to ignore that comment.

Propped up on the tips of his paws, Pakkun's sniffing was so ferocious and involved that he nearly fell into the box of photographs.

"I swear, Pakkun, if you were to get your snot all over those…" Abandoning his efforts to find a broom, Kakashi lifted Pakkun up, gripping him firmly underneath his front legs, as he knew Pakkun hated. Ignoring the high-pitched pining, Kakashi carried the squat dog to his room and unceremoniously dumped him onto his unmade bed. Pakkun buried himself underneath Kakashi's large yellow blanket, whimpering pitifully.

"Really, Kakashi, you can be so cruel," he whined, burrowing deep underneath the sheets and covers and barricading himself from the world, which he was currently ill-disposed to (mainly because Kakashi was in it).

Kakashi did not respond; as was previously stated, he had grown accustomed to Pakkun's insensitive remarks. As he made his way back over to the hallway closet, the open box of photographs that Pakkun had just been nosing through caught his eye. Deciding to temporarily give up his search for the broom, he switched directions and settled himself in front of the box. _Pakkun, you made such a mess, _he observed, noting the jumbled-up mess Pakkun had made of his neatly stacked photographs. _Not to mention get your slobber all over the glass… _He picked out one of the photos on the top of the pile; it had suffered the most from Pakkun's thick saliva. Taking a damp rag out of his pocket, he began to scrub away at the dusty glass. After a few minutes, he tossed the rag to the side and looked at the picture he had been so busy cleaning.

His stomach churned unpleasantly and he felt a sharp stab in his chest as he saw his own face looking back up at him; two cheerful, deep blue eyes, one wide smile. One of his tiny fists was curled tightly around the pant leg of a tall, thin man with spiky silver hair so much like Kakashi's own. Sakumo was beaming in the picture, ruffling the young Kakashi's hair and winking at the camera. Even in this faded, stained photograph, the pride in Sakumo's face was unmistakable. He was so happy, so proud of his family, especially of his only son, Kakashi… The Sakumo that had been captured in the photograph, had been frozen forever in time— this Sakumo knew nothing of the pain that he would have to go through… Seppuku was most certainly not on the mind of this grinning, powerful man. He had pride, and honor, and he would let nothing get in the way of that, nothing at all… Or so Kakashi had thought.

Kakashi resisted the urge to throw the photograph roughly back onto the pile; even now, after he had long since accepted what his father did, it pained him to see him portrayed as alive and happy. _If only you had stayed like that… _Kakashi thought sadly, straightening up. He banished the image of Sakumo's bloody corpse that kept trying to force its way to the forefront of his mind into his subconscious. He folded the cardboard flaps of the box on top, closing it up and leaving it alone for the time being.

His gaze shifted to the window behind his couch. The sky was tinged with pinks and blues, the first rays of sunlight pushing upwards and shedding light on a sleeping Konoha. Darkness hovered at the edges of the sky farthest away from the budding sunlight, still trying to keep the previous day and all of the memories it carried rooted in Konoha for at least a little longer. Still, as always, the light defeated the stubborn blackness and pushed it out of the sky where it would wait patiently to overtake Konoha again in the nighttime.

Kakashi let out a sigh, leaning on the windowsill and observing the quiet city. This was his favorite time of day; all of the mistakes he had made were one more day in the past, which made them both easier and harder to bear at the same time. As much as he hated to think such cheesy thoughts, the new day brought new chances to make things better, even if he usually did not recognize and act upon those opportunities. Konoha's residents were sleeping peacefully in their quiet homes, lost in their peaceful, happy dreams. While they were in this state he could not disappoint them, which gave him a twisted sort of peace of mind.

Kakashi crept out of the window, locking it behind him and hopping soundlessly off the roof, landing catlike on the ground. His visits to the Memorial Stone were the one thing he was never late for, and he had a mission with his squad today. Knowing that it was probably for the better that his visit was being cut short, he tread down the all-too-familiar path to the monument that harbored so many memories.

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update and that it was so short! Thank your for your continued reading, support, and reviews! 


	9. Wishes and Prayers

My deepest apologies! This took forever to finish! I had a serious case of writer's block; not to mention awkward scenes drive me insane. Again, I'm sorry for the incredibly long wait (as well as how OOC and rushed this chapter is), but here it is!

* * *

Kakashi was not the only one with the Memorial Stone as a destination that morning. Sakura stood in front of it, carefully observing the names forever carved into its cold surface for the first time. _Hanano Rin, Hanano Rin… _She was having some difficulty finding the cramped kanji that read her mother's name; there were so many names, so many memories all crammed into a set amount of space. Besides, it had been 13 years now… the names of thirteen years' worth of dead shinobi followed her mother's. After a few minutes of looking, she squinted at a name: "Hanano Rin" was carved several lines above the most recent additions.

Sakura leaned in closer, tracing the name with her fingertip. _Hanano Rin, _she thought, looking at the name but not really seeing it. _What were you like? What would you think of where Kakashi-sensei and I are now?_

Kakashi had not expected to find anyone else at the Memorial Stone; he was usually there far earlier than most other people were willing to get up. Sensing another person's chakra, he originally resolved to just keep himself hidden in the trees until whoever was there left. Spotting pink hair, however, he abandoned this course of action and walked over to the stone.

"Sakura?" he said quietly. Sakura blinked and turned around, not having noticed anyone coming. She was taken aback by the appearance of her sensei (her _father_) and was not sure what to say.

"K-Kakashi-sensei?" she asked, straightening up. "What are you doing here?"

"Same as you," he said, cocking his head to one side. "Paying my respects." He walked closer to the Memorial Stone, standing beside her but looking at the names carved into its rough surface. He found Rin's name immediately; he had long since memorized the locations of all of the names on the stone.

Sakura stirred beside him; as Kakashi (who had not gotten any sleep) turned to look at her, his mind mistook her for Rin and involuntarily brought him to a day about 13 and a half years ago.

_It was a warm afternoon at the end of summer, the mild sun and the soft, playful breeze betraying the mood that was hanging in the air. Kakashi had recently found out that Rin was pregnant, and the two of them were standing in front of the Memorial Stone in silence. Rin had found Kakashi there and had told him quietly, her voice breaking with choked sobs about halfway through. He had stood there, wide-eyed, unsure of what to do, eventually letting her cry into his shoulder as he shed a few tears himself. The two of them now stood side-by-side in front of the Memorial Stone, both looking at the same fading name. Neither of them spoke, merely letting the unasked questions hang uncomfortably in the air… What would the villagers think? What would Obito have thought, were he alive? What would Arashi-sensei think? **What were they going to do?**_

The memory ended; Kakashi was brought back to the present, looking at Sakura. She had turned so that she and Kakashi were both facing the stone, her hands behind her back as she bit her lower lip, looking at Kakashi out of the corner of her eye but trying not to make it too obvious. Kakashi looked back to the Stone, not sure what he could say or do to make the situation more relaxed and not so unnervingly tense and uncomfortable.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura said, still looking at her mother's name on the Stone and not directly at Kakashi. Kakashi did not respond, but Sakura knew that he was listening. "Is this where you always come in the mornings?"

Kakashi did not answer immediately. He let the question hang in the air as he contemplated his answer. Of course, then it struck him that Sakura was his daughter, which meant that she would probably find out any way and had a right to know either way. "Yes," he said, still focusing his gaze on Rin's name.

"And that's why you're always late?" Sakura continued, shifting _her _gaze to Kakashi. He was still looking at the stone with a tired, almost resigned expression on his face. Sighing, he nodded his head once.

They stood in front of the stone, side by side, a gentle breeze playing around their faces and tugging at the both of them, encouraging either of them to come out and say something that would magically break the awkward silence. Kakashi gave in first, coughing uncomfortably. "Sakura," he said quietly, "I'm sorry that I've put you through this ordeal." He was not looking at Sakura as he was talking; his eyes were still fixed on Rin's name. "I know I should have taken you in earlier… There hasn't been a day I haven't thought about it."

There was a long pause, during which Sakura dimly wondered if he would go on. However, as Kakashi drew a breath as if he were about to continue, she realized something: she couldn't take too much more of his apologies. She wasn't going to lie to herself and say that she wasn't bitter with him, but she wasn't the type of person who was going to sit around and listen to someone she respected and found herself starting to genuinely care for apologize over and over again for things he couldn't help.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said boldly, and it became clear that Kakashi had been about to say something as he turned to look at her properly, his eyebrows (including the one that was hidden) raised in surprise. Sakura met his gaze fiercely, a fire in her eyes that Kakashi rarely saw in serious situations. "I know you miss her ten times more than anyone else does, and I know you think her death is your fault. I'm not going to try to deny or prove that, but you can't keep dwelling on it, okay?" Smiling, she added, "There are things you can change and there are things you can't. How are we supposed to keep our family together if you're trapped in the past?"

Kakashi was taken aback. As his mind processed her words, most of him was still undergoing minor shock, but somewhere within him, her words rang painful truth. What she said only reinforced what a small part of him had been telling him in that nagging voice for years now. That same voice now nudged him, encouraging him to say something to match that powerful statement. He came up short, however, still rather put off by just how hard her words hit home. He smiled one of those covering-up-emotions smiles; the kind where your mouth (or in his case, his mask) says you're smiling but your eyes are a clear indication that you're still recovering. Still, it was a smile nonetheless, and Sakura had to admit it was an improvement compared to stuttered apologies and lonely gazes.

"Sometimes you remind me too much of Rin," Kakashi said, this time cocking his head to the side and looking at Sakura with a look of affection she had never really seen from him before. It was almost as if he were seeing Rin in Sakura's eyes; he looked, she thought, like a teenager hopelessly in love. _Come to think of it,_ Sakura thought, _he might still be in his heart._

A moment later, Kakashi blinked and snapped out of his reverie. "Well, we can't accomplish much by standing here," he said, his usual aloof nature coming through again. He titled his head upwards; the sun had now fully risen and was the centerpiece of a vast, crystal clear sky. _I should probably make myself useful and go on a mission…_

Sakura's sweet smile turned into a mischievous one. "Say, Kakashi-sensei, have you cleaned up your apartment yet? Because I've packed up all of my stuff…" She winked subtly, knowing that there was no need to go on.

Kakashi blinked once again, all thoughts of a mission forgotten. "Now?" he asked, his eye wide. "As in right now?"

"If you're ready for me, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura teased, as if she were throwing out a challenge that he had to meet to prove his worth.

Kakashi straightened up to his full height, which was a pretty impressive move (seeing as he was almost always slumped over, whether he was enmeshed in his book or just displaying a general "I couldn't care less" attitude to the world). "Of course," he said firmly. "I'll expect you there in no less than half an hour." He winked and added, "I'm sure you know where it is," before performing a few rapid hand seals and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Sakura knelt down and gave a final prayer for the dead shinobi, Rin in particular. _Please watch over Kakashi-sensei and I… I get the feeling we're going to need a lot of help._

She stood up, stretching and yawning. She had gotten no sleep since Kakashi and Asuma had come to her house, but had spent the entire time after they left packing her belongings. In fact, she had been completely ready for a few hours now; it was only a matter of saying her final good-byes to her foster parents.

* * *

Sakura stood in the doorway of her childhood home, an almost overflowing knapsack on her back and several heavy traveling bags in her hands. This was by no means the last time she would ever stand in this house, for she certainly planned to visit; but after she left, coming back would never be quite the same. She wanted to memorize exactly how everything looked, smelled, felt… she never wanted to forget the place she had called a home for thirteen years, the place where she had first laughed, first cried, first felt love and first felt pain… Everything was important, every last memory, and she wanted to forever imprint them in her memory.

Closing her eyes, she took in the scents and fumes of the kitchen, the refreshing sound of the breeze playing through the plants on the windowsill and the wind chime above the door, the cozy feeling she would give anything to take with her. As she was memorizing all of these things, Mr. and Mrs. Haruno came running down the staircase. As Sakura let the bags fall from her hands and embraced her foster parents as if they would disappear if she were to let go, Sakura opened her eyes, finding that there were tears in them. She let these tears flow freely and she lost herself in the arms of the people who had raised her so very well. None of them bothered to keep track of how long they stood there, swaying back and forth as they repeatedly uttered words that only scratched at the surface of just how much they all loved each other.

Eventually, they broke apart, wiping their tears and composing themselves. Sakura picked up her bags again, her lip still trembling.

"I'm really going to miss you," she whispered for the umpteenth time. "I'll come and visit all the time, so don't worry about me."

"Don't you worry about us," Mrs. Haruno said, shaking her finger in what is normally a reprimanding fashion but was really an affectionate one in this case. "Stay strong yourself, Sakura."

They exchanged a few more good-byes, and just as Sakura was waving and closing the door behind her, Mrs. Haruno exclaimed, "Wait, Sakura! You've forgotten something!"

Sakura frowned, confused. "What is it?" she asked, stopping the door with her foot.

"Your cake!" Mrs. Haruno said, rushing to the kitchen and grabbing it off of the table. "I know you're on a diet, but you never did make a wish."

Sakura came back in, confused at first but then remembering that she had rushed off to training that day without blowing out the candle. Mr. Haruno took out a lighter and lit the pink candle in the middle of the cake, readying it for Sakura's wish.

Sakura leaned over the cake, thinking hard about her wish. Traditionally, every year she wished for Sasuke to return her affection for him, but this year she thought that there were more important matters to be dealt with. Closing her eyes, she wished, _I just want Kakashi-sensei and I to be happy together, and that the two of us can keep our crumbling family together. It's going to need a lot of work, and we need all the help we can get._ Taking a deep breath, she blew out the candle. Giving the Harunos one final hug and one final good-bye, she closed the door behind her and left for Kakashi's apartment.

* * *

If it did not satisfy, I'm sorry, but I had horrible writer's block and no idea what to write for this. I have most of the rest of the story planned out, though, so hopefully updates won't be so far apart in the future! 


	10. Moving In

Looking through my notebooks after uploading the latest chapter (which was delayed due to laziness and writer's block), I added insult to injury by realizing that I had already written out dialogue for a similar scene that would have fit in beautifully and is a lot better than the stuff I came up with on the computer… ::sighs:: Such is my life. Ah, and thanks for the KakaSaku concern, but there is going to be no romance between the two in this fic.

* * *

Sakura knocked on the door softly, her heart beating wildly with anticipation. She had been there once before only a few days ago, but it was still uncharted territory to her. After all, it was like she was starting over from scratch…

The sound of someone getting up and walking around reached Sakura's ears; she stiffened, her heart seeming to rise to beat in her throat. _This is really it, _she thought, hearing the click of the lock and the creak of the hinges as Kakashi opened the door. He looked the same as always, but there seemed to be something different about him; perhaps the way he acted at home was just that much different than the way he usually carried himself. His eye crinkled into a small smile as he stood aside, opening the door wider and letting Sakura walk in. She did so slowly, only coming in far enough so that he could close the door behind her.

Sakura stood in the entryway/living room of Kakashi's small apartment, carefully observing the details she had been too distraught to take in the last time she had been there. It was much smaller than most of the other apartments she had seen, although the cramped feeling was probably fueled by all of the cardboard boxes obstructing the path between furniture and rooms. The entryway immediately led into a small living area, with a faded beige couch set a foot or two away from the rain-soaked window on the back wall. A worn rug that was probably once a warm red color had now faded to a dull maroon and was laid out in front of the couch, separating it from a squat bookshelf on top of which sat a small, rather dusty television. To the immediate left was a tiny kitchen area that looked as if it could barely fit two people comfortably. Next to the kitchen area was a brief stretch of wall housing a door that stood slightly ajar, leading to what looked like a tight-fitting bathroom. The door that lay beyond that presumably led to Kakashi's room, but it was closed and Sakura could not tell.

"I'll take your things for you, Sakura," Kakashi said, breaking Sakura's train of thought. She collected herself and smiled, turning to him and saying, "I'll bring them myself, if you'll show me where I'll be sleeping."

Kakashi stepped past her and motioned for her to follow him. He led her through the miniature maze of boxes to a room on the right wall she had not noticed the door to, nudging it open. "It doesn't have a lock," he said apologetically, walking in and to the side so that Sakura had room to come in and set her things down.

"That's fine," Sakura said, walking into her new room, the place where she would be living for some time now. Kakashi flipped on a light switch, revealing a small, rather dusty room. A futon had been spread out underneath the room's solitary window. A box or two was still sitting in the far corner, covered in a layer of dust. A small, brown creature was in the process of dragging a large blue rug into the center of the room in an attempt to liven it up. Sakura watched it, slightly disturbed; it stopped when it noticed her gaze, sniffing the air.

"Is that a lady I smell?" he said thickly through the wool in his mouth, turning his squat head to look at Sakura. His ears perked up as he observed her from head to toe, taking in her appearance. He let the rug fall from his mouth, saying, "Say… I've met you before, haven't I?"

Sakura's eye twitched slightly as she tried to remember where in the world she had seen such a strange little dog. Kakashi walked forward from where he had been leaning against a wall, coughing to catch their attention. "Sakura, you might remember meeting Pakkun before, during the final round of the Chuunin Exams…"

Pakkun's lip (if you could call it that) curled, his sagging eyebrows wiggling slightly. "You're the girl who thought I was just a cute doggie, aren't you?" He winked at her, trotting over to come and sniff her toes. He sniffed around them a little before licking them affectionately. "Hmm…" he said, pulling away and smacking his lips. "Your toes are a strange cross between Kakashi's and Rin's. Interesting how humans pass down their genes…"

Sakura blinked a few times, unsure of how to react to that. _My toes are like Kakashi-sensei's….?_

Kakashi sighed, crouching over by Pakkun and patting him on the head. "He can be a real headache sometimes," he said, looking at Sakura with a hint of a smile in his eye, "but you get used to him." He gave her a tiny wink, ruffling Pakkun's fur.

Pakkun scowled grumpily, looking up at Sakura again. He squinted up at her face carefully, unconsciously smacking his lips again. "Say, you don't look much like Kakashi, do you?"

Sakura blushed a little, saying, "Well, um… I wouldn't really know, I've never exactly seen his…" She coughed, not exactly wanting to just come out there and _say _it…

Pakkun understood, grinning. "Never seen his face before, eh?" Sakura shook her head, a little embarrassed. Pakkun let out a barking laugh, wheezing slightly.

"You're still wearing that thing, Kakashi?" he asked incredulously, still sniggering. "I hardly see the point anymore; with or without it, you're still recognizable by your hair. Besides, do you really think anyone is going to make the connection anymore?" He shook his head up and down, agreeing with himself.

Kakashi sighed once again, straightening up. "Old habits die hard, Pakkun," he said, sliding his hands in his pockets again.

Pakkun licked Kakashi's ankle affectionately. "Well, I guess instead of a security blanket, you've got a security mask." He chuckled at his own little joke, scratching himself and grinning. Kakashi wasted no time in picking Pakkun up by the underarms as he so dearly hated, holding him out at arm's length and watching him whimper without a change in expression.

Sakura had to stifle a giggle, not wanting to come off as sounding _completely_ girlish. "Have you two known each other for a long time, then?" she asked as Pakkun flailed his legs fruitlessly, struggling to escape from Kakashi's sadistic grasp.

Kakashi dropped Pakkun, shrugging his shoulders. Rubbing his ears, Pakkun said, "I've known Kakashi since his early ANBU days, at least." Licking the paw he had landed on, he added, "And believe me, girl, you wouldn't have wanted him then— He was pretty crazy, not so long ago."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow but did not immediately say anything. Sakura twitched a little, saying, "C-crazy?" _At least he hasn't been _completely _alone, then…_

"Oh yeah, those were some dark days," Pakkun said, yawning and scratching at some irritation behind one of his ears. "You looked at him wrong, and BAM" — he clapped his paws together for dramatic effect— "down for the count."

"I appreciate your words of support, Pakkun," Kakashi said, giving Pakkun a rather dangerous glare, "but I think your work is done here."

"Fine…" Pakkun grumbled grudgingly, correctly interpreting Kakashi's "you've said too much" glare. He saluted Sakura formally, saying, "See ya soon," and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Kakashi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know why I keep him around…" he said, more to himself than Sakura. "He can be a real headache sometimes…"

Sakura's expression was halfway in between a frown and a smile. _A headache is better than a heartache… I'd glad he's had someone to talk to, at least some of the time._

"So," Kakashi said, turning to Sakura, "do you need any help? I know this place isn't very big; it used to be a storage room, which is why there are boxes scattered throughout the apartment."

"Um, no, I think I'll be okay," Sakura replied, looking around her new room. "Besides, it's… cozy."

Kakashi almost laughed, smiling instead. "Well, I'll be packing boxes if you need me." He left the room, leaving the door open.

Sakura took a deep breath, carefully taking in the room. "Well, it's not the biggest place I've ever lived," she said aloud to herself, "but it's better than having to sleep on the couch or even in the streets." Adopting a determined expression, she began to unpack her bags and set up her things. She placed her blanket and pillows on top of the futon, leaving them in a half-folded, half-jumbled mess for her to sort out later. Other things did not have such an obvious place to go; she had no idea, for instance, where on earth she was supposed to put all of her clothes and books. She left them in the bags, intending to ask Kakashi about that later. She lined up the photographs she had brought on the windowsill, also putting Naruto's plant there. It was considerably crowded up there; there was a picture of her with the Harunos, her and Ino, and one of Team 7, and the windowsill was not very big to begin with. _It'll do, _Sakura thought, beginning to unpack more ahem _personal _items.

_What am I supposed to do with this stuff? _she thought bemusedly. _I don't exactly want to put it out in the bathroom where Kakashi-sensei could easily see it…_

As if reading her thoughts, Kakashi poked his head in the doorway, asking, "Do you need any help in here?" As he noticed the nature of the things she was holding, his eye widened considerably and he felt his face grow rather warm, although Sakura couldn't see it. Her own face went a bright shade of red.

"S-Sorry," Kakashi stuttered, embarrassed. "Do you want me to show you the bathroom?"

"N-No, I saw it on my way in," Sakura said, determinedly not looking Kakashi in the eye but focusing her gaze firmly above one of his shoulders. He pulled out of the doorway and she walked past him, neither of them desiring eye contact.

The bathroom was very small, with a shower on the right side and a toilet directly across from the door. There was a cabinet on the left wall, and it seemed to be overflowing with all sorts of things. There were three entire shelves devoted to bandages and medicine; most of it, she noticed, for insomnia. Thankfully, there was one small shelf with almost nothing on it, and she put her things on it and forced the cabinet door closed.

As she came back out, she saw that Kakashi had been hard at work with his unpacking, although it seemed that he wasn't so keen on putting things away. The floor was littered with clothes (masks among them), books (of the Icha Icha variety), ninja tools, photographs… All sorts of things that Kakashi had taken out of the boxes but had not exactly gotten around to putting away yet. More clothes were draped over the couch, and there was a towering pile of things on the kitchen table (much of it instant ramen he had confiscated from Naruto). Kakashi himself was not in sight, but Sakura could hear him moving things around in his room. Deciding to take a look (and have a word with him about the mess he had made), she walked over and looked inside.

If the apartment outside was a mess, a tornado had struck in Kakashi's bedroom. Sakura squinted but couldn't make out a single square inch of the floor underneath the piles of clothes, books, etc… Kakashi's futon (which sported a tangled yellow blanket with designs reminiscent of shuriken) was currently home to many of Kakashi's smaller clothes (masks inclusive but not exclusive), as well as his most of his photographs (there were not as many as she had originally thought). Sakura noticed that the windowsill above his bed was very similar to hers, albeit longer and wider; it housed a green plant that looked akin to some of the others in Naruto's little garden, a cracked alarm clock, a few of his naughty orange books, and two framed photographs: one of Team 7, and one of what looked to be Kakashi's own team as a child. _Is that… Rin…?_

Kakashi, who had been bent over a stubborn pile of who-knows-what (it all started to blend together after awhile), straightened up as he noticed her presence. "Need anything?" he asked, acting as if he were completely oblivious to the disaster in front of him.

Sakura continued to stare at the photograph above Kakashi's windowsill, all anger at him for creating such a mess ebbing away. "Kakashi-sensei, is that… Rin…?"

"Hm?" Kakashi walked over, somehow managing not to break anything. He leaned forward about as close to earnestly as Kakashi can get, his expression softening as he saw the picture Sakura was talking about. He straightened a little, his hands in his pockets again. "Yeah," he said, "that's Rin when we were about eight or nine." In that particular picture, Rin was in the center, with only her head and her hands (both of which were forming the "V" peace sign) visible. A black-haired boy in goggles on the left and a masked, silver-haired boy on the right stood beside her, both of whom were being patted on the head by a tall man with blonde hair that jutted out in wild spikes.

"Is that your team?" Sakura asked, now looking at the rest of the picture without completely ignoring her mother's face.

Kakashi nodded. "It was around the time we first met each other formally," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand again. "We had just become a team."

"Who are the other two?" she asked. _That one with the blonde hair… he looks an awful lot like…_

"Uchiha Obito," Kakashi said, nodding at the left side of the picture, "and my sensei, U—"

"Oi, Kakashi, you in here?" Asuma's rough voice interrupted Kakashi; it sounded as if he were standing in the doorway. Kakashi walked out of his room and into the crowded main room.

"Come to mock the mess?" he asked. "I get enough of that from Pakkun, and I'm sure Sakura will give me more."

"She here, then?" Asuma said, casually taking his cigarette out of his mouth and letting it dangle from where he had it clenched in between his index and middle fingers.

Kakashi nodded his head backwards towards his room. "She just got here, she's in my room right now. And it's _not,_" he added dangerously, seeing the spark in Asuma's eye and the smirk already starting to crawl onto his face, "anything like _that_."

"Of course not, Kakashi," Asuma said, the skepticism and sarcasm in his voice painfully clear.

At that point, Sakura walked over to see the source of disturbance. "Asuma-sensei?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with one of her hands on her hip. "I don't think this is the best time; as you can see, Kakashi-sensei has made _quite _the _mess._" She threw Kakashi a contemptuous glare as she put some careful stress on those two words.

Asuma laughed, saying, "Well, Kakashi, it seems like you two have your work cut out for you!" He took a few long puffs of his cigarette to calm himself down. Kakashi, who had been trying to ignore the cigarette, watched with a narrowed eye, almost twitching as the smoke reached his sheltered nostrils.

"Out," he said sharply. "Put the cigarette out or leave."

Asuma snorted but obeyed, pressing the cigarette onto his pants and putting it out. "You left the door unlocked again," he said, tossing the cigarette into a nearby trash can. "You ought to be more careful in the future, especially since you've got a teenage girl living in your apartment— you never know what sorts of creeps will come lurking around." He cocked his head to the side, looking at Sakura now. "So, are you Hatake Sakura now?" he asked her.

Sakura raised her eyebrows, unsure of how to answer that question. _Am I? _she wondered, looking to Kakashi for help. He cut in for her, saying, "No, Rin's surname was Hanano."

Asuma titled his head back, stroking his chin. He smirked, saying, "Heh, that's a pity. Poor Ino, she already changed all of her 'Haruno Sakura is my rival in love' posters and the like to say 'Hatake Sakura is my rival in love.'"

"Ino knows?" Sakura asked.

"Of course," Asuma said. "Just about everyone knows… It's a miracle you've managed to keep 'em quiet for so long, Kakashi!"

Kakashi folded his arms across his chest. "Don't you have somewhere to be, Asuma? Or rather," he added, sounding serious, but not hiding the smirk in his eye, "someone to be _with?_"

Asuma scowled. "Very funny, Kakashi," he said, turning to leave. "Just don't expect me to be your last visitor." He performed a few hand signs and disappeared.

Sakura watched the spot where he had been standing for a moment or two before turning to Kakashi and asking slyly, "What did you mean by that?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Nothing," he said, trying to sound innocent; unfortunately for Kakashi, everyone knew that he was rarely innocent and did a horrible job of pretending to be. Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Really now?" she asked, hands on her hips. Kakashi nodded but gave her a sideways smile. She smiled back, changing tact and asking, "Who else would want to stop by?"

"Gai, undoubtedly," Kakashi said almost wearily, heading back towards his room. Sakura followed, asking, "Have you and Gai-sensei always been 'eternal rivals'?"

Kakashi, who was now sorting through some of his clothes, laughed. "It depends on whom you ask," he explained. "Gai would tell you that we were born destined to fight each other for all eternity, but we didn't start keeping track of wins and losses until we were around twenty."

Sakura laughed, but it was cut short by a shrill cry of, "Kakaaaashiiiii!"

"Well, speak of the devil…" Kakashi muttered, getting up and going to the doorway in the hope that Gai would not feel the need to come into his room.

Gai pranced in, wearing his signature green Spandex and a comically serious face. "Tsk tsk, Kakashi, you left the door open again," he boomed, shaking a finger at Kakashi as the Copy-nin walked lazily over. "What if some creep wandered in and harassed poor Sakura?"

Kakashi, unfazed, casually retorted, "You mean… someone like you, Gai?"

Gai let out a manly wail, clasping his hands to his shiny head. "How very hip of you, Kakashi…!" he shouted. "But you can't fool me with your contemporary, contemptuous responses!" A bright orange color caught his eye and he bent over, looking over one of Kakashi's infamous Icha Icha books. He narrowed his eyes, a dark look crossing over his face. "So… still reading those dirty books, eh, Kakashi?"

Kakashi snatched the book out of his hands, returning Gai's disgusted glare with a cold one. "I'll thank you not to go digging through my things, Gai."

Gai marched over to where Sakura was hovering in the background, trying not to laugh, stopping abruptly a few feet away from her and leaning forward. In a theatric whisper that Kakashi could clearly hear, he said, "I would watch out if I were you, Sakura… Kakashi's been known to do… _improper _things to women…"

Sakura blinked, her eye twitching. "'Improper things'…?"

Gai shook his head, muttering darkly, "Oh, kid, you have no idea…"

Kakashi coughed loudly. "I think you're over exaggerating—" he began, but was interrupted by Gai jumping up suddenly and pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi.

"Don't deny your sexually driven thoughts and actions, Kakashi!" he bellowed, his entire body seeming to shake with the intensity of what he was saying. "I'm onto you and Anko!" He ran past Kakashi and out of sight, quickly leaving the vicinity.

Kakashi blinked.

Sakura blinked.

Kakashi cleared his throat, saying, "Amm… Well, I'm sure you know that you can't really take Gai seriously…"

His words faltered as Sakura slowly rounded on him, her mouth and one of her eyebrows twitching. "So…" she began, arms crossed across her chest, "You and that crazy exam proctor have something going on, huh?"

Kakashi raised his hands defensively, palms out. "Now now, you can't jump to conclusions—"

"I'll be keeping an eye on you, Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura interjected. Her bright green eyes were narrowed dangerously and Kakashi chose to let the subject rest for now. He went back to his room, continuing to sort through the seemingly endless mess of things he had made. He received Sakura's assistance (which turned out to be very helpful), but not without paying the price of enduring her comments and scoldings.

* * *

After quite some time, the two of them stood in the doorway of Kakashi's room, facing outwards and looking out at the job they had done. Not only had they been hard at work at fixing up Kakashi's room, but they had tackled the rest of the apartment as well. Kakashi brushed his hands off, saying, "It's good we got it done now, that'll probably be the last afternoon we both have off in awhile…"

At that moment, the apartment door flew open wildly to reveal a youth clad in a bright orange outfit. Naruto marched in, shouting, "Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi's eyes widened considerably, his eyebrow disappearing behind his headband. "Naruto, what in the world are you—"

"I've recently been thinking about those books you read, Kakashi," Naruto began loudly, his hands on his hips, "and I'd just like to say that if you let your questionable hobbies rub off on Sakura or, even worse, do naughty things to her, I will— I will—" He struggled to think of a fitting punishment, his bottom lip curled comically above his upper one.

Kakashi slouched over, saying quietly, "Why is everyone convinced I'm a pervert?"

Naruto heard him and, in response, picked up the book that Kakashi had confiscated from Gai; Kakashi had accidentally left it there when he and Sakura had moved onto more important matters. Beads of sweat were trickling down Naruto's face because of the sheer intensity of it all as he flipped open to a random page and began to read aloud. Kakashi appeared behind him immediately and grabbed the book out of his hands, rapping him on the top of head with it. "I, being a fully grown adult, am perfectly able to handle books with more… mature subject matter," he explained, looking down at Naruto as he rubbed his head sourly. "You, on the other hand," he continued, raising an eyebrow, "lack the proper level of maturity to read such things without letting the thoughts generated by their content govern your actions and emotions."

Still rubbing his head, Naruto said, "So you're saying it's okay for old men to be lecherous but not kids like me? Because Gejimayu's sensei said—"

"If you've been letting Gai's nonsense about 'flowers of youth' get to your head," Kakashi said, his voice forcefully overriding Naruto's, "you need to come back to earth and rejoin reality." Inconspicuously slipping his (apparently controversial) book into his pocket, he continued, "Only a select few can correctly interpret the spontaneous dribble he spouts about 'wisdom in youth'. Those who do are either driven to insanity by spending so much time around him or are already beyond the point of no return."

Sakura's lip twitched as she watched Naruto process all of this information. _Somehow, I get the feeling those two know each other _too _well…_

Naruto made a face, saying, "Anyway, I came to look around your place. I think—"

"I'm sorry you wasted your time, Naruto," Kakashi said, "but you should do yourself a favor and leave before I have to drag you back to your own apartment."

"Sheesh!" Naruto grumbled. "I'm going, I'm going!" He left, but not before shouting over his shoulder, "If he tries to corner you, Sakura, kick him where it hurts and go for help straight away!"

Kakashi did Naruto the courtesy of closing the door behind him rather forcefully. He turned to look at Sakura; he was pretending to be serious, looking her meaningfully in the eye, but a playful smile that she could detect in his eye betrayed this. "I'm not going to harass you, Sakura; I'm not _that _deprived," he said, winking at her.

Sakura smiled back, cocking an eyebrow. "Let's hope you stick to your word for your sake, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi smiled, walking past her and ruffling her hair affectionately as he passed. "It looks like I've definitely got my work cut out for me here."

* * *

As I said, sorry if that one was all over the place! I personally had a lot of fun with it, even if it was a little slow at parts. Thank you for your continued support! 


	11. Photographs

::slaps herself multiple times:: I apologize for a million things, the first of which is for updating so late… _again. _::sighs:: Also, the beginning of this chapter seems really forced and rather unlikely to me, and Kakashi seems OOC in my opinion. Speaking of OOC, I'm not sure if I could keep Naruto in-character to save my life. ::sighs again:: Many thanks to Aslan'sWhiteWitch for your idea; I stole it shamelessly, as you will see.

* * *

Sakura felt as if she had just fallen asleep when she was awoken by a cold draft, causing her to sit up and shiver. Still completely exhausted, she looked around, confused; she had no idea where she was. She stood up, wrapping her robe tightly around herself, and cautiously walked out of the small room she had found herself in. As soon as she saw the rest of the apartment, however, everything came back to her and she remembered that this was _her _apartment now, the apartment she was sharing with Kakashi, her _father_.

The apartment was dark and relatively quiet. Sakura could make out a dark little dog-shaped lump sprawled across the rug in front of the couch, emitting loud snores. She stepped over him carefully, searching for the source of the cold air that had woken her. She turned to look behind the couch and, sure enough, the window was wide open; apparently, Kakashi had forgotten to close it. The space between the couch and the wall was too narrow for her to fit into; sighing with annoyance, she made to kneel down on the couch and close it herself.

What happened next happened very quickly: Sakura, not looking at what she was doing, brought her knee down on something that was certainly not a couch cushion; there was a gasp of pain as both of Kakashi's eyes shot open, a miniature shriek as Sakura realized what she had just done. She leaped back, goosebumps rising on her arms, as Kakashi sat up slowly, wincing.

"A light," he said hoarsely, his voice colored with pain. "Turn a light on."

Sakura hurried to the nearest light switch, still rather shaken. She flipped it on and returned to the couch, where Kakashi was sitting with his legs folded up against him.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said quickly. "I didn't know you were—"

Kakashi shook his head back and forth slightly, relaxing a little. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes closed as the pain ebbed away. He cracked his left one open; the Sharingan was watering a little as he focused it on Sakura. "What were you doing?" he asked, still breathing rather heavily.

"You left the window open," Sakura said, regaining her composure and putting her hands on her hips. "The draft is really cold, either one of us could have caught something."

Kakashi kept his Sharingan on her for a few seconds more before turning and shutting the window with a little more force than was strictly necessary. He sat back down on the couch wearily, saying, "And that's why you… why you…" he couldn't exactly fit the right words around what he was trying to say, but Sakura got the picture.

"I already told you, Kakashi-sensei," she said rather angrily, "I didn't realize that you were there. Why were you sleeping on the couch, anyway?"

Kakashi shrugged, standing up. "I sleep on the couch a lot," he said, walking over to the bathroom. He flipped the light switch in there, then proceeded to rummage through the cabinets. Sakura came over, standing in the doorway and watching him with a raised eyebrow as he pulled out a bottle of the medicine for insomnia.

"I'm the one who woke you up," she said, cocking her head to the side, "so why would you need…?"

Kakashi turned to look at her, unscrewing the cap of the little bottle. He popped a pill or two into his mouth, swallowing them without bothering to use water. "I would have woken up anyway," he said, closing the cabinet door (again with more force than he probably needed to). He walked past her and out of the bathroom, turning off the light as he did so. She followed him out, curiosity peeking through her look of general annoyance.

Pakkun had also woken up; he was rubbing his eyes blearily with a paw, saying, "Kakashi, why did you have to wake me up _again? _Just because you can't sleep, you don't have to take it out on me—"

"It wasn't me who woke you up," Kakashi said a little sharply, walking past Pakkun without looking at him and heading for his bedroom.

"It wasn't me who left the window open," Sakura said stubbornly, catching up to him as he walked lazily into his bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights. "I'm sorry I woke you up and everything, Kakashi-sensei, but are you all right?"

Kakashi mumbled a response that Sakura couldn't make out, sitting down on the edge of his futon and running his hands through the hair above his forehead. Sakura hesitantly moved towards him, saying a little more kindly, "Are you okay, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi sighed, sitting up straighter and turning to look at Sakura. "I'm fine," he said wearily. "I'm just tired."

"I'm sorry for waking you up," Sakura repeated. At that moment, Pakkun trotted in, wearing a very sour expression on his face.

"It'd do you both a lot of good if I came around and bit you in the rear end," he said shortly, coming to a stop in between the two of them and plopping himself down. "You're both acting completely ridiculous. Kakashi, get a hold of yourself. The girl didn't mean to wake you up."

"I know," Kakashi said, sighing again. He rubbed his temples, saying, "The sleepless nights are just starting to catch up to me." He stood up, unconsciously brushing off his pants; he was still clad in his ninja uniform, minus the vest and headband. "Why don't I make it up to you?" he said suddenly, turning to Sakura.

"What?" Sakura asked, a little confused.

"I did leave the window open," Kakashi said, walking over to his closet and turning a light on.

Sakura felt he was overreacting a little too much to everything tonight; he had already apologized for leaving the window open, and that was enough in her eyes. "Kakashi-sensei, that's not that—" Pakkun cut her off, nudging at her ankle with his wet nose. She squatted down so that he could whisper into her ear, "He's just using that as an excuse. He forgot to do something and is trying to cover it up."

Kakashi emerged from the closet with what appeared to be two pieces of paper in his hand. He left the room, motioning for Sakura to follow. She and Pakkun did so, Kakashi leading them over to the small kitchen area. He turned on a light and sat down at the table, laying what Sakura recognized as two photographs off to the side. Sakura sat down in the only other chair, Pakkun sitting at her feet. He attempted to jump on top of the table (which he was perfectly capable of doing), but Kakashi shot him a look that said without words what would happen to him if he tried.

"What are those for, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, trying to get a better look at the photographs. Kakashi turned them upside-down, however, and said rather sternly, "Before we get to that, there are a few things I have to discuss with you, Sakura."

"Discuss with me?" Sakura repeated. Kakashi nodded.

"There are a few rules that we have to establish if we intend to co-exist harmoniously in the same apartment." He held up one finger, saying, "Rule number one: You don't wake me up unless it's something important. I understand that what just happened was an accident, but for the future, I want you to strictly abide by this rule. I won't wake you up unless it's important, so don't wake me up unless you need to."

A second finger shot up as he continued, "Rule number two: I read what I read and I don't want to hear your opinion on it." Pakkun stifled laughter, shaking with mirth.

Sakura cocked an eyebrow, saying, "So you're saying you don't want me to try to stop you from reading those Icha Icha books?"

"That's _exactly _what I'm saying," Kakashi said, giving Sakura a stern look. "I don't want you reading my books, I don't want you telling _me _not to read my books, and above all, I don't want you _touching _my books. Have I made myself clear?"

Sakura nodded, trying not to laugh at the extremely serious look on Kakashi's face.

"Rule number three," he said, sticking up another finger, "is that you do not attempt to tamper with any of my masks in any way, shape, or form."

At that point, Pakkun couldn't contain his laughter anymore, rolling around on the floor and wheezing rather unpleasantly. Sakura blinked, taken aback by that one. "Why on earth would I want to do that?" she asked, ignoring Pakkun.

Kakashi also ignored Pakkun, saying, "I just wanted to make sure you understand that there is to be absolutely no tampering with my masks under _any _circumstances. In the past, certain people have thought it _funny _to hide my masks, replace them, burn them, feed them to a variety of wild animals… the list goes on and on, and I don't want you to add to it."

"O-Okay," Sakura said, still a little dazed by what she thought was a very random statement that Kakashi had uttered so seriously without a twitch of the mouth (as far as she could tell) to indicate that he took the situation more lightly than he was letting on.

"Rule number four," Kakashi said, holding up a fourth finger, "is that you don't let anyone into the apartment without a good reason. I know it seems like common sense, but certain people have endless fun messing around with my personal possessions and I don't want those same people to take advantage of you and use you to get into my apartment."

He paused there to address the issue of Pakkun rolling around on the floor, wheezing unpleasantly and slobbering all over the carpet. He nudged him forcefully with his foot, causing Pakkun to promptly quiet down, uttering only a small whimper as he licked the spot Kakashi had practically kicked.

_He seems very concerned about people messing around with his things, _Sakura commented privately, watching as Pakkun shot Kakashi a dirty glare and muttered mutinously, moving to lurk underneath the kitchen table. _Do people really bother him that much?_

"Along with that rule," Kakashi continued, causing Sakura to snap her attention back to him, "is that there are certain individuals who, under no circumstances, are you allowed to permit entrance to this apartment."

"You mean Gai-sensei?" Sakura asked, smirking.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Yes, actually," he said. "Is it that obvious?"

Sakura's grin widened. "It's just that I get the feeling that you two go _way _back."

Kakashi permitted himself a small smile. "Well, now that that's out of the way…" He reached for the two photographs he had set aside. "I've been meaning to give you a picture," he said, leaning forward and setting the two photographs out so that Sakura could get a good look at them. "Of Rin, I mean."

Sakura leaned forward eagerly to see the two photographs. Neither of them featured Rin alone; rather, they both depicted Rin and Kakashi together. One was a somber photo of the two of them standing in front of the Memorial Stone. Rin was wearing a blue scarf and a plain purple outfit; her eyes were red and puffy and she wore a small smile on her face, as if she had just stopped crying and was trying her best to look happy for the camera. Kakashi was standing beside her with one arm around her shoulder, a red scarf wrapped around his neck that seemed out of place; he was otherwise clad in his full ANBU uniform, minus the white dog mask. He too looked as if he were merely pretending to be happy for the sake of whoever was taking the picture.

The second picture portrayed a very different type of situation (at least as far as atmosphere was concerned). Kakashi and Rin were again standing together; Rin was leaning against a tree and Kakashi seemed to be hovering over her, his body turned towards her but his neck twisted so that he was facing the camera. Rin's face was pink with embarrassment but alive with laughter; Kakashi, looking very annoyed, was blushing furiously and shielding his face with one arm. The other arm was pressed against the tree slightly above Rin's shoulder. Sakura smiled, asking, "Who took these?"

Kakashi had stood up and moved to the side of the table so that he could get a better look at the pictures himself. "My sensei, the Fourth Hokage, took the one by the Memorial Stone," he said.

"What about the other one?" Sakura asked, trying not to make her grin _too _obvious.

Kakashi cleared his throat, saying, "Well, _Asuma_ seemed to think that it would be _funny _to spy on the two of us."

Sakura giggled a little uncharacteristically, although she couldn't help it. "You look annoyed in that one— is it that you're not wearing your mask, or…?"

Kakashi coughed loudly, saying, "Well… that and the fact that he caught us…" He coughed again, although Sakura could clearly make out the word "kissing" hidden within it.

Sakura laughed openly. "No wonder you're blushing!" she exclaimed. Her amusement was only fueled by the half-irritated, half-annoyed look on what she could see of Kakashi's face. He couldn't help smiling, though, shifting his gaze to the photograph and looking fondly at it.

"You know," he said quietly, "your laugh is exactly like Rin's." Sakura looked up at him, the corners of her lips turning down a little. "I remember, when that was taken… She sounded exactly like that…"

"Really?" Sakura asked. Pakkun poked his head out from underneath the table, curious as to what brought about such a change in atmosphere.

Kakashi nodded. "Laughing, crying, scolding Naruto, it all sounds exactly like her…" He smiled to himself, adding, "Of course, your personality has more of a spark to it than hers did."

Sakura looked down a little. "It would have been nice to have met her," she said quietly.

"She would have been happy to see how you've turned out," Kakashi said softly. The air was thick and silent for a moment, both of them thinking the same thing and neither wanting to break the silence, before Kakashi said brightly, "Well, which one do you want?"

Sakura titled her head to the side a little, looking hard at both of the photographs on the table. "I'd like this one," she said, reaching out and taking the picture Asuma had taken. "I want to see her happy, you know?"

"That makes sense," Kakashi said, taking the other picture and folding it up carefully before slipping it into his pocket. "It's yours to keep."

"Thanks!" Sakura said, smiling at him.

Kakashi smiled back, saying, "It's the least I can do."

* * *

Team 7 met bright and early the next morning; or at least, three quarters of them did. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were waiting for Kakashi to arrive at the familiar training grounds near the Memorial Stone, having been waiting for a few hours. Sasuke was leaning casually against a fence, displaying an indifferent "I don't care" attitude; Sakura was sitting on the ground, a yawn escaping her mouth; was lying in the grass, a sour expression on his face. "Kakashi-sensei's so laaaate!" he complained loudly. "Why do _we _have to come so early in the morning, but _he _gets to come whenever he pleases?"

"Like it's any of our business," Sasuke said coolly. Naruto sat up and stuck out his tongue at him, his arms folded behind his head.

"Hey, Sakura," he said, turning to Sakura, "do you know where he is? I mean," he added rather darkly, "you live with him and all now."

Sakura sighed, sitting up a little straighter. "When I woke up, he was already gone," she said wearily, suppressing another yawn.

"Do you have any idea where he could've gone?" Naruto insisted, leaning forward.

Sakura was tempted to say, "This _is _where he comes in the morning", but decided not to. "I checked the place he normally goes," she said, "but he wasn't there."

Naruto groaned, falling back onto the grass. The three of them remained silent for a little while before Naruto said, "Hey, Sakura?" His tone was calmer and more hesitant than usual as he looked at Sakura with a rather shy but serious look on his face.

"Hn?" Sakura looked up from the book she had taken out and started reading. "What is it, Naruto?"

"Your mother… her name was… Hanano Rin, right?" Naruto asked, his eyes wide.

"Yeah," Sakura said slowly. "How did you know?"

"Kakashi-sensei told us," Naruto said hurriedly. "I was just wondering… what did she look like?"

"Um… she had brown hair," Sakura said vaguely.

"Not pink?" Naruto asked.

"No, Kakashi-sensei said that _her _mother had pink hair and that _his _mother had green eyes," Sakura explained, a little uncomfortable. Her eyebrows rose a little bit and her mouth formed a little "o" as she remembered the picture she had folded up and put into her bag. "Just a second, I've got a picture of her," she said, zipping it open and rummaging around in it a little before she found it. She unfolded it carefully, handing it to Naruto. "Be careful," she warned as he eagerly took it from her. Even Sasuke had to come over, observing it over Naruto's shoulder.

"That's your mom?" Naruto asked, looking back up at Sakura, who nodded. He grinned, saying, "Ha ha, she was pretty!"

"She looked a lot like you," Sasuke commented, his expression (to Sakura's disappointment) as cold as ever. She dared to smile at him; for the most part he just responded with an indifferent glare before returning his gaze to the photograph in Naruto's hands, although she could've sworn his face was a little pink around his cheekbones.

"Whoa, is that Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said, bringing the picture closer to his face.

"Who else would it be?" Sasuke said coolly, causing Naruto to scrunch up his face in annoyance. He managed to hold his tongue, concentrating on the picture as opposed to his desire to to spin around and punch Sasuke. "He's not wearing his mask!" he said excitedly, turning the picture in the hopes that he could find an angle in which most of Kakashi's face was visible. He siphoned out a frustrated sigh, saying, "Agh, his stupid arm's in the way!"

"Don't hold the picture so close to your face," Sasuke snapped, trying to get in a better look at the picture without drawing too much attention to himself. "You'll ruin the photo."

"Shut up!" Naruto said loudly, ducking away from Sasuke and standing closer to Sakura. He turned to her, his frog-like frown still on his face, saying, "What was he _doing _when this picture was taken?"

Sakura giggled a little, saying, "Asuma-sensei caught them kissing and—" Her voice faltered abruptly as Kakashi appeared in a poof of smoke behind Naruto.

"What's that you've got there, Naruto?" he said, peering over Naruto's shoulder with interest. Naruto quickly whirled around, shouting, "You're late, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yes, I know, you don't have to scream it in my ear," Kakashi said irritably. "What's that photograph you've got there?"

Naruto's expression turned from an angry one to a sly one, the corners of his mouth turning up in a wide grin. "It's a picture of you, Kakashi-sensei," he said, his voice drawling suggestively. "You really got around back in the day, huh?"

There was a flash of movement; Naruto blinked, staring at his empty, open hand. Kakashi was holding the picture, glancing at it before glaring at Naruto.

"You're as bad as Jiraiya, you know that?" he said. He handed the picture back to Sakura, saying, "I believe this is yours." She took it back, stifling laughter but trying not to make it obvious.

"Come on, why can't I look at the picture some more?" Naruto whined, folding his arms across his chest and furrowing his brow angrily.

"What more is there to see?" Kakashi asked, his arms also crossed.

"Sakura's mom!" Naruto said, cracking open his eyes. "She was really pretty, I wanted to look at the picture of her some more! Say, is that why you liked her, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said quickly, opening his eyes fully and wiggling his eyebrows. "Because she was so pretty?"

"Naruto, what are you thinking?" Sakura said angrily, firing up at once. "You can't ask such personal questions!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "But is that why, Kakashi-sensei?" he demanded, ignoring Sakura's narrowed eyes and shaking fist (which was probably very unwise).

"It's a ridiculous question," Kakashi scoffed, "and it's none of your business. At any rate, love should be blind, at least as far as appearance is concerned."

Naruto thought about that for a moment before saying, "So… is that why you wear a mask?"

"What?" Kakashi said, thrown off course. _This conversation keeps getting more and more random…_

"Do you wear a mask because then people won't judge you by your appearance?"

There were a few moments of silence. "Naruto… what are you talking about?" Kakashi said. "Wearing a mask doesn't stop people from judging my appearance, Naruto."

There was another stretch of silence before Naruto said stiffly, "Oh. Right."

"…Well, we've got a mission today," Kakashi said, "so if you're done asking questions, we can get started." He raised an eyebrow, fixing his one-eyed stare on Naruto. Naruto, his bottom lip curled up above his upper one, nodded firmly and said, "Yessir."

* * *

Sorry if I got your hopes up only to bring them crashing down. Also sorry for the blatant OOC-ness and the crappy ending(s). I have a semi-clear idea of where I'm going next chapters, so I'm going to push myself to update on more than a monthly basis from now on! 


	12. Underneath the Willow Tree

Sorry if the circumstances in this chapter are hard to believe.

**Important: **_I know it's lame of me to do this, but I'm altering some information I've given previously in this fic. Earlier in the story I said that Rin was sent on her last mission when she was roughly seven and a half months pregnant. I have since realized that this is completely unlikely. So, instead, I'm altering it to only a month or two._

* * *

The wind was whistling past Team 7 as they darted through the trees, swiftly moving farther and farther away from Konoha. They had been assigned a mission that was, in essence, easy enough, although it would take quite some time: they were to aid some of Konoha's more experienced shinobi in investigating some suspicious behavior of Sand shinobi somewhere near the Grass/Rain border. Normally, such a mission would not be assigned to a team that was made up primarily of genin, but Konoha was running low on manpower at the time and couldn't spare the more skilled shinobi for missions that could end up being entirely pointless. Team 7 had been traveling for almost two days and had just crossed the Fire Country border into Grass Country.

"We're in Grass Country now, can we take a rest?" Naruto groaned, clutching his stomach. "I feel like I haven't eaten in a week!"

"It's not our fault you were feeling too tough to eat when we stopped," Sakura snapped.

"Besides," Kakashi said before Naruto could respond angrily, "we only have a little farther to go until we reach the agreed meeting point."

Naruto darkly muttered something incomprehensible but raised no more objections.

* * *

The moon was set high in the sky, illuminating the otherwise dark and grassy landscape. A few willow trees were scattered throughout the area, but otherwise, it was very flat. Team 7 had set up camp a little ways away from one of the trees, their sleeping bags circling the remnants of a small fire. Naruto alone was awake, watching the glowing embers as his stomach growled particularly loudly.

_I really should have eaten… _he reflected glumly, rolling over so that his back was to the fire. His eyes lit up, however, as he noticed Kakashi's bag lying a few feet away from him. His mouth curled up in a mischievous grin as he slowly inched over to where Kakashi was sleeping.

The silver-haired shinobi appeared to be fast asleep, his eyes closed peacefully and his orange Icha Icha book resting on top of the lower half of his face. Employing his best stealth skills and attempting to keep completely silent, Naruto snatched Kakashi's bag and quietly carried it away to one of the willow trees so that he could snack in peace underneath its sweeping branches.

"Itadakimasu!" he whispered gleefully, sinking his teeth into a sandwich he had found in Kakashi's bag. He relaxed a little, sitting back against the tree.

There was an unpleasant cracking noise and Naruto leapt up in pain, clutching his back.

"My back!" he cried out, scrabbling at whatever was causing the stinging pain in his lower back. "My back!"

The other members of his team woke up immediately, rushing over to the spot.

"Naruto, what happened?" Kakashi asked, worry lurking underneath his words. His right eye was open wider than usual, and he was leaning forward anxiously. Sakura was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, while Sasuke was wearing a look of mild annoyance. "Were you attacked?"

Naruto shook his head sheepishly, the color rising in his face. _How stupid was that? _he asked himself angrily, biting down hard on his lip. _I must have sounded like some little kid!_

"N-No," Naruto muttered, stumbling over his words. "I think I got some bad splinters in my back."

"Splinters," Kakashi repeated, his expression unreadable. "That's all?"

Feeling more embarrassed than ever, Naruto nodded once, hanging his head. He felt little tears fighting at the corners of his eyes. _Great, _he thought, _now I seem like even more of a baby than normal._

"You _were _sitting against a tree," Sasuke pointed out coolly. "Why are splinters so surprising?"

Naruto jerked his head back up, glaring at Sasuke. "It wasn't from the tree, you don't get splinters from sitting against bark!"

"Wasn't from the tree?" Sakura asked, stifling a yawn. Naruto shook his head, turning back to look at the tree in question. To his mild surprise, he saw that Kakashi was crouched down next to the spot where Naruto had been sitting.

Sakura pulled back a few of the hanging willow branches. "Find anything interesting?" she asked.

Kakashi was silent for a moment; the question hung in the air before he punctuated the silence, saying in a puzzled voice, "It seems just to be a few old sticks…" He picked up the sticks in question, looking them over in his hands.

"Sticks?" Sakura asked interestedly, letting the branches fall out of her hands with a soft rustling noise and kneeling down beside Kakashi.

Kakashi was holding the large sticks at arm's length, turning them over in his hands and observing them with interest. "They seem to be bound together by something…" he said. He stood up, carefully carrying the sticks outside of the sanctuary of sorts created by the willow tree's branches.

After observing the branches more carefully in the light cast by the moon, with the other three peering over his shoulder, Kakashi said, "It looks like these branches were, at one time, bound together. Whatever it was is pretty much gone now, but it looks like it could have been a bandage or a wrapping of some sort."

His tongue sticking out the left side of his mouth and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Naruto titled his head to the left, squinting his eyes and saying, "Say, it looks kind of like a… like a cross or something, doesn't it?"

"A cross?" Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow. He paused, then said, "Well, I suppose it does…"

"Yeah, it definitely looks like some kind of marker," Sakura said, her chin resting in between her thumb and forefinger.

"Why would anyone want to put a marker underneath a tree?" Sasuke asked.

No one had an immediate response. Kakashi wordlessly returned to where he had found what seemed to be a marker, cracking open his left eye as he did so. Using the Sharingan to help him see in the dim light, he searched the area around the trunk of the tree more thoroughly. For some reason, as he dug through the soft, grassy soil beneath the tree, he felt a looming sense of foreboding. Something about this place didn't seem right; something about the spot he was excavating gave him goosebumps. He shook off the feeling, continuing to investigate.

He felt an unpleasant tug somewhere in his gut as his fingers made light contact with something cold, something that could have been metal. A cold feeling shot up through his fingertips and traveled through the rest of his body, forcing him to suppress a shiver.

"Did you find something?" Sakura asked, poking her head through the branches of the willow tree, which were swaying softly in the breeze.

"Yeah," Kakashi said, digging away at the earth around the metal. Sakura turned her head and hurriedly motioned for Sasuke and Naruto to come over before coming over to where Kakashi was crouched next to a small pile of upturned dirt.

"What is it, what is it?" Naruto asked excitedly, watching eagerly as Kakashi pulled something out of the earth. Kakashi held it up at eye level, squinting as he tried to make out what it was.

The thing Kakashi's fingers had made contact with was indeed metal; a long slab of it, attached to a frayed and torn piece of black cloth. Kakashi ran his fingers over the grooves in the metal; a chill ran down his spine as he recognized the engraving on the metal as the symbol of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the Konoha leaf.

"Is that a… headband?" Sakura said slowly, her eyes wide and glossy. Kakashi nodded wordlessly, setting it aside and continuing to dig through the earth where he had found it. He had a bad, bad feeling about this, a feeling he couldn't explain but kept growing and growing so exponentially that he couldn't merely shrug it off…

And then he saw the face. Or rather, what was left of the face— most of the skin had decayed, leaving the grubby bone beneath showing. Kakashi felt another painful stab of emotion, this time in his chest; there was something uncannily familiar about that face, just the shape of it seemed to spark something in the back of Kakashi's memory…

The other three caught sight of the portion of the body that Kakashi had just unearthed; Sakura shrieked, while Naruto's face went white as a sheet. Only Sasuke seemed unaffected, saying, "Is it male or female?"

Kakashi had to blink a few times to recompose himself before saying, "I'm pretty sure it's female." He began to say more, but his voice got stuck in the back of his throat. Why was this happening to him? Why was he reacting so badly to finding a body? He had seen much, much worse in the twenty years or so he had been in the business; had discovered much worse than a decaying corpse of a Konoha ninja in some obscure field in Grass Country.

"Are you all right?" Sasuke asked, one of his eyebrows raised in slight disbelief that Kakashi was reacting so poorly.

Kakashi found his voice to thankfully be working properly again, saying, "Of course," before returning to digging out the body. Sakura was still wearing a look of horror on her face, while Naruto looked as if he might be sick.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said weakly. She let his name hang in the air expectantly as if she had more to say; she found, however, that she could summon no more words and closed her mouth promptly, letting Kakashi continue his "work".

A few more uncomfortable minutes passed; Kakashi had been growing more and more afraid of what he was digging up, although he still couldn't explain why. He had so far unearthed the head and part of the torso of a woman who was wearing clothes dyed black by the years of dirt eating away at them. Kakashi noticed a glint of silver around the woman's neck; he reached out his fingers, caked with dirt, toward where her collarbone was jutting out through some deteriorated cloth, intending to remove whatever it was from around her neck. His hands froze as he realized what exactly it was; even without taking a good look at it, he recognized it as a standard-issue ANBU dog tag, curled around her bony neck. If the woman were indeed part of ANBU, the tag would say her name in a code known only to anyone who had ever been a member of the elite organization.

His fingers trembling, Kakashi removed the chain from around her neck, trying not to flinch as her hollowed bones creaked in protest. He held the dog tag up to his face, his heart racing for reasons he still couldn't identify.

Kakashi went very, very cold as he recognized the name on the dog tag.

It was his own.

* * *

Oooh, cliffie, neh? This chapter was over 3000 words, but I stuck a whole bunch of stuff into the _next _chapter, which means I've got a huge headstart; that in itself is motivation to update quickly. Thanks for reading! 


	13. Rin

_Rain was falling softly around her as Rin stood at the gates of Konoha, her lip trembling and her eyes very wet. She felt sick to her stomach, although she would never have let the Hokage know that. He had seemed almost desperate when he told her to go on this mission; she had noticed the obvious strain in his voice, the deep circles underneath his startlingly blue eyes, and couldn't bring herself to say no. It had been such a basic mission request, merely retrieving a scroll of middling importance that had been stolen by an enemy Grass ninja. Still, now, even before she had stepped outside of the village, she was regretting accepting the mission._

_She put a hand to her abdomen, feeling the tears starting to well up behind her deep brown eyes. _You shouldn't be doing this, _she told herself, biting her lip. _You're in no condition to leave the country.

It's nothing major, _she argued with herself, fingering the shoulder strap of her knapsack nervously. _Just you and Tenka going to retrieve a scroll, you've done this sort of thing a thousand times.

Not with a baby inside of you, _the other side of herself retorted promptly._

_Rin sighed, trying to block out the battle raging on inside of herself. She bit down, hard, on her bottom lip, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the older kunoichi, pretending that waiting was her main concern but knowing on the inside that she was just doing it to distract herself from the twisting pain she felt in her stomach._

_Rin heard the quiet snap of a twig and jerked her head towards the source of the noise immediately, readying a kunai out of instinct. She almost, _almost _sighed with relief when she saw that the teenager who had landed catlike after jumping from a nearby tree was Kakashi, not an enemy._

"_Kakashi, what are you…?" Rin began, although the answer was somewhat obvious. He had naturally come to see her off; after all, he almost had a _duty _to do so, seeing as Rin was carrying _his _child._

_Kakashi stopped only a foot or so away from her; she shifted her gaze upwards a bit, taking in his expression; judging by his bloodshot eyes (although it was hard to tell with the Sharingan) and the dark purple circles lining them, he had not gotten a wink of sleep since the last time they had spoken. That had more than a week ago, when Rin had found him standing in front of the Memorial Stone as he always did on a deceivingly sunny day. Rin had told Kakashi that she was pregnant; after the initial tears, the two had exchanged few words. Instead, there had been many things left unsaid and many more tears left unshed while the two stood side-by-side in silence._

"_I wanted to…" Kakashi's voice was raspy; Rin could tell that his throat was raw from crying. He coughed to try and clear it, saying, "I wanted to… well, first I wanted to…" He abruptly stopped his stuttering and, his eyes closed tightly, he said, "I know that words can't change what I did to you, can't change the fact that you're pregnant with my kid, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorrier than I've ever been for anything in my life and that… and that, no matter what it may seem like now, I love you more than I'll ever deserve to love someone."_

_Rin blinked, her lips trembling. "Kakashi, you…"_

_Kakashi wordlessly cut her off, tugging down the neck of the skin-tight black shirt from underneath his white ANBU vest, firmly pulling a thin silver chain off of his neck and holding it out towards her._

"_I want you to have this," he said, the chain jingling softly as it dangled from where he held it firmly in his wrist. "It's not much, but I… I want you to have it." He cracked his right eye open, meeting her puzzled gaze directly._

"_Kakashi, what…?" Rin took the chain, holding it up to her nose and squinting at the name engraved on the little piece of metal attached to it. Her eyes widened as she looked back up at Kakashi, saying, "Kakashi, this is your identification tag, isn't it?"_

_Kakashi nodded._

"_But, Kakashi," Rin said, lowering her arm and furrowing her eyebrows, "don't you need this?"_

"_I can always get another one," Kakashi said quietly. "I want you to have it, just in case…"_

_He didn't need to go on._

It's in case something happens to him, _she reflected, feeling tears unwillingly start to collect at the corners of her already red and puffy eyes. She slid the chain over her head and fitted it neatly around her neck, tucking the tag underneath her undershirt. She smiled at Kakashi, saying quietly, "Thank you, Kakashi."_

_Kakashi bent his knees a little, crouching down so that he was facing Rin's lower abdomen at eye level._

"_I'll try to be a good father," he said softly, both of his eyes firmly focused on where the child rested inside Rin's own body. "I'll try to be a better father for our kid than I've been teammate or student or son or anything else."_

_Rin crouched down to his level, smiling warmly at him. "I'm sure you will be," she said just as softly. Kakashi looked her in the eye, a tear fighting at the corner of his Sharingan. Wide-eyed and looking lost like a scared child, he blinked twice before smiling back._

"_I love you, Rin," he whispered._

_Rin gently took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers._

"_I love you too, Kakashi."_

Kakashi's fingers were shaking so hard that he lost his grip on the slightly raised edges of the thin piece of metal, dropping it into the dirt. His eyes were wide in horror as he backed up, shaking as he raised his arms up feebly in front of his chest as if to shield himself from what he had just found.

"Kakashi-sensei, what's wrong?" Sakura asked hurriedly, worry coloring her voice. "What is it?"

Kakashi's eyes were fixed on Rin's decaying corpse, his breathing becoming almost ragged as his eyes bored into her dark, empty sockets; he felt beads of cold sweat roll down his face as he stood up, shaking his head back and forth, back and forth.

"No," he said, his voice trembling. "No, that's not— that's too—"

"Kakashi-sensei, what's wrong?" Now Naruto was joining in, his heart thumping in his chest; if Kakashi was this scared, how dangerous was it?

Kakashi bit down on the fabric of his mask, clenching his eyes shut. He shook his head rigidly before backing out of the small area sheltered by the willow tree. His three students followed, exchanging looks of concern and confusion.

"Kakashi-sensei, who was that person?" Naruto asked once Kakashi had led them a few meters away from the willow tree. Kakashi was leaning against another tree, massaging his forehead.

"Whose name is on the dog tag?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi could not bring himself to answer immediately. He took a few deep breaths, trying to erase the image of Rin's body from his mind's eye. He cracked open his eyes, saying quietly, "Mine."

There was a collective gasp; Naruto, Sakura, and even Sasuke all wore bewildered looks on their faces.

"_Yours_?" Naruto demanded in disbelief. "But, you're not—"

"Of course I'm not dead, Naruto," Kakashi said sharply. There was a short, expectant silence from his three students before he said quietly, "That was my first identification tag, but… I gave it to… I gave it to Rin."

Sakura's mouth fell open in shock, her eyes wide. "Rin?" she repeated, her voice high and shaking a little. "So that means that, that body in there is—"

Kakashi cut her off with a curt nod. Sakura let out a miniature shriek, her hands flying to her mouth. Already, she felt tears collecting at the corners of her eyes.

"Wait, Sakura's _mom_?" Naruto said loudly, his eyes also wide. Kakashi tilted his head up a little, the sadness in his eye answering Naruto's question for him. Naruto gaped at Kakashi for a few moments before shifting his gaze hurriedly to Sakura, who was shaking.

"That's… that's _horrible_…" she whispered, her wide eyes shining in the moonlight. She looked back at Kakashi, who looked as if he might be sick. "Kakashi-sensei, how is that…?" She gulped back a few tears, unable to continue.

Sasuke asked the question for her, saying, "How is that possible?"

Kakashi was observing the ground at his feet, his eyes almost closed."Her body… was never found…" he began quietly. "This is the country where she died, but… it's very… that we should find her here… it's very improbable…" He shook his head back and forth unconsciously.

"Shouldn't we dispose of the body?" Sasuke asked slowly; he wasn't overly moved by the situation, but he knew that the others were and didn't want to come off as _too _indifferent.

"Why would we do that?" Naruto demanded. Tears were fighting to get out at the corners of his eyes, too; he always tended to get very emotional at times like these.

"Because if an enemy came across the body, they could potentially gather information about any drugs her body might have taken in, any secret jutsu she may have used… things like that," Sasuke said coolly. "All ninja corpses are disposed of as quickly and as thoroughly as possible, aren't they, Kakashi?"

Kakashi snapped his head up at the mention of his name. He considered his answer, saying slowly, "Well, yes, but…" He swallowed once before continuing. "Rin has been dead for thirteen years, so any trace of jutsu or drugs or whatever other tales her corpse might tell are long gone."

"Still, it's standard procedure, isn't it?" Sasuke said.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed slightly; sometimes, Sasuke reminded him a little _too _much of how he used to act, back when he loved the rules more than his teammates.

"Are you trying to accomplish something?" he asked sharply. "Because there's nothing we can really accomplish by burning her body. If it makes you feel better, I'll take care of disposing of the corpse, but there are times when the regulations aren't as important as… as other things."

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _Jeez, taking everything so seriously…_

Kakashi's glare rested on Sasuke for a few more moments before he sighed, closing his eyes. He turned towards the willow tree again, mentally preparing himself for what he was going back to. He was stopped, however, by someone grabbing his arm; he turned to see Sakura standing next to him, her lip trembling.

"Can I see her again?" she asked quietly. Her glistening green eyes met Kakashi's weary mismatched ones; he wanted to refuse, he didn't want her to watch him reduce her mother's body to ashes. However, as they maintained eye contact, he noticed just how much her pleading expression mirrored the one Rin had given him on more than one occasion, and he found himself unable to deny her what she wanted. He sighed again, saying softly, "All right."

The two of them ducked beneath the swaying branches of the willow tree together; Naruto motioned as if he wanted to follow, but Sasuke shot him a look that clearly said, "Let them be alone." For once, Naruto followed Sasuke's suggestion and stayed put.

Neither Kakashi nor Sakura were fully prepared for what they saw; neither of them had still gotten over the shock that the rotting, half-buried body belonged to Rin. Kakashi found himself trembling violently as he sat down besides Rin's body. Sakura, too, was shaking; she knelt down next to Kakashi, her eyes threatening to let the tears through.

"This is…" She shook her head slowly, her eyes still fixed on Rin's dirt-covered skull. "I can't believe this…" Her voice shook horribly and she bit down on her bottom lip as two tears ran down her face. "Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura turned to him, burying her face into his shoulder.

Kakashi did nothing; he merely listened to Sakura's muffled sobs, continuing to stare at Rin's corpse. In his mind, he replaced those terrible, empty sockets with Rin's once vibrant brown eyes…

_She looked up at him with those wide, beautiful brown orbs, smiling playfully like she had rarely done before, and he noticed for the first time just what a strikingly beautiful shade of brown they were…_

Replaced the coarse bone with her soft skin…

_He ran his fingers slowly over her warm skin, never having felt something so pleasingly smooth…_

Replaced the upturned soil around her head with her flowing brown hair…

_He still remembered running his hands through it for the first time… _

Replaced the toothy grin her skull wore with the gentle smile he had loved so dearly…

_He had never felt so in love with anyone as he did when the words he said tugged at the corners of her mouth until she smiled warmly at him, making his heart soar…_

Kakashi also bit down on his lip, feeling his resolve break as his forehead twitched and a tear escaped his right eye; for once, Kakashi was crying before Obito was.

_Rin…_

_Rin, what did I do to you?_

Kakashi put his arm around Sakura, drawing her closer to him. He ran his hand soothingly up and down her back, a few tears trickling down his face as her sobs only increased. He held her for a few moments before he couldn't take it anymore: he pulled his mask down and brought his hands together, barely forming a few hand signs — he couldn't stop his hands from shaking— and released a stream of flame from his mouth, incinerating Rin's corpse. Within a few seconds, her body had been reduced a smoldering pile of ashes.

Shaking horribly, Kakashi pulled Sakura even closer, unable to contain his own sobs any longer. They cried into each other's shoulders as he held her tightly; he hated himself so much for taking Rin from Sakura like that; but he knew Sakura couldn't stand his apologies, so he consented to holding her so tightly he felt as if he would lose her to if he were to let go.

- - -

- - -

- - -

Naruto and Sasuke sat in an uncomfortable silence, listening to Kakashi and Sakura's sobs. More than once, Naruto had strongly hinted that he wanted to go over and comfort them, but Sasuke had given him a look that very clearly told Naruto to give them some time alone together.

A pinkish light was creeping over the horizon line by the time Kakashi and Sakura emerged from underneath the willow tree. Sakura was rubbing her eyes, which were red and puffy after crying so much. Kakashi's eyes were red, too, but Naruto and Sasuke made a point of not looking; even if they had not seen him crying, the very idea of it seemed almost indecent to them— they didn't want to intrude on such a private thing.

"Are we… are we going to meet the others now?" Naruto asked tentatively. Kakashi nodded, slipping his headband over his Sharingan.

The four of them packed up, exchanging few words. Sakura said nothing the entire time, silently double-checking to make sure she had all of her supplies. Just as everyone was getting to leave, Naruto tapped her on the shoulder shyly. She turned around to find him looking at her anxiously.

"What is it, Naruto?" she asked, surprised at how quiet her voice was.

A dull pink tinge rising in his face, Naruto said quietly, "Are you… are you okay now?"

Sakura blinked, a little taken aback at first by how genuinely concerned he seemed. A small smile replaced the slight frown on her face, however, as Naruto's bright blue eyes made contact with her emerald green ones.

_He really cares, _she reflected subtly. She stuck out her tongue playfully at him, saying, "I'm fine."

Naruto smiled, relief washing over his face. He grinned back before darting over to Kakashi, ready to continue the mission.

* * *

My God, that was fast! Well, I already had over 1000 words typed, so… Still, that's got to be a new record for me! Well, the downside is… the ending was a little weak and it might be awhile until the next update… ::sighs:: 


	14. Damaged

Sorry it took me awhile to update again. I finished it on the 11th (still late, I know), but FF dot net (cursed may the name be) hasn't been letting me upload documents. Instead, I copy and pasted into a document I had uploaded but never intended to use. Also sorry if everything in the last few chapters seemed kind of sudden and out of place. _Also_ sorry if you don't like the direction I'm taking this story. _Also also_ sorry if I don't include the pairing you want, but this is not (and has never been) a story about a romantic relationship. Hmm… I feel like something is missing here. Not _here_, but in the chapter. Also sorry if the language in this chapter offends anyone, but I just couldn't hold back anymore… ::sighs:: I do still show some restraint; I think these are words you can say on network TV, at any rate. Hmm… I was thinking of adding in a chapter before this one, wherein they were still on the mission, coming back from the mission, etc… But I didn't think there was too much I could accomplish with a chapter like that. Sorry if you disagree… Oh, ALSO sorry if you think my story is terribly melodramatic, but I can't help it.

* * *

Kakashi collapsed onto the beige couch, closing his eyes and pulling down his mask. He groaned as his sore muscles throbbed, running a hand through the silver hair that was spilling over the edge of the couch. He rubbed his eyelids softly, running his finger gently over the scar running across the left one. 

Pakkun poked his head out from underneath the couch, looking up at Kakashi blearily. He blinked slowly, then wiggled his way out and hopped up onto Kakashi's chest. He settled himself into a comfortable position and licked Kakashi's face affectionately.

"Where's Sakura?" he asked, smacking his lips.

"In her room," Kakashi replied quietly. "We just got back from our mission."

_He sounds pretty hoarse,_ Pakkun thought, frowning. "How did it go?"

"We completed the mission successfully," Kakashi replied mechanically.

Pakkun's frown grew more pronounced. "What happened?"

Kakashi did not answer right away, collecting his thoughts. Pakkun waited patiently, accustomed to the long stretches of silence preceding Kakashi's answers to questions. He had known Kakashi long enough to figure out that the longer it took him to speak, the more emotionally painful the answer was.

Kakashi was taking particularly long to answer this one; his Sharingan was closed, but his other eye was slitted open and focused on a blank space on the opposite wall. Eventually, he whispered (more to himself than Pakkun, it seemed), "The chances of that happening were so… so incredibly slim…"

Pakkun nuzzled Kakashi's neck with his wet nose, asking quietly, "What happened, Kakashi?"

There was another long pause before Kakashi replied. His voice, barely more than a whisper, was shaking as he said, "It was Rin, Pakkun… we found Rin's body in Grass Country."

Pakkun's eyes grew wide in shock. He pulled his head away from Kakashi's neck to look at him properly. Kakashi was biting his lip, and pearly tears were gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"Kakashi…"

"It was an accident… N-Naruto found where she was— where she had been b-b-buried, and…" Shuddering, he gulped back tears before he continued. "And I d-d-dug her up, and she… and she…" Drawing his legs to his chest, Kakashi buried his face in his knees, his tears soaking his black pants.

"It was horrible, Pakkun," he sobbed, his words muffled. "Her skin was… was crawling with bugs and… and… and… and she was wearing my d-dog tag, and… and Sa-Sa-Sasuke had me b-b-burn the body, and Sakura… Sakura…" Any trace of coherency was lost as Kakashi's sobs increased. All Pakkun could do was rub his head up against Kakashi's in an effort to comfort him.

* * *

Kakashi cried for a long time; Sakura could hear him from within her room, and the sound scared her. It wasn't fear of the unknown, because Sakura had heard and seen him cry on more than one occasion; rather, it was a fear of the future, and how past and present were effecting it. Sakura was still getting over the shock of finding Rin's body herself, but she knew that it would be about a million times harder for Kakashi to adjust after seeing a person he had loved more than anyone else in _that_ state. She feared that the sight of Rin's decaying corpse, forever imprinted into his mind's eye, would consume him; that it would dredge up memories and feelings and thoughts he had tried to hide from for so long. 

Sakura's train of thought was broken by the sound of Kakashi getting up off the couch and roughly moving around the apartment; although Sakura didn't know the place very well yet, she could tell that he was heading for the bathroom. At first, she thought nothing of it; after all, _she_ usually spent a decent amount of time in the bathroom after crying. As she rolled over, wrapping herself in her blanket, however, she felt a sudden chill as a dark thought occurred to her.

Without thinking, she slipped out of her futon and wrapped her robe around her. She opened the door soundlessly, stepping out into the main room. The hair on the back of her neck stiffened as she saw light spilling out from underneath the bathroom door, broken by the shadows of two forms behind it.

Sakura quietly made her way over to the bathroom, pressing herself against the short stretch of wall beside it. She held her breath in, straining to listen to what might be transpiring behind the door.

* * *

Kakashi was gripping the edge of the sink tightly, his knuckles white and his hands shaking. His eyes were downcast, boring into the grubby sink. He was trembling slightly, his head bowed. 

Pakkun was at his feet, nudging Kakashi's ankle with his nose. "I know it was just about the last thing you needed, Kakashi, but everything will turn out all right in the end," he said gruffly. "It always does."

"What are you talking about, Pakkun?" The words came out harshly, the pitch of Kakashi's voice jumping up and down. "Things never turn out all right in the end." Kakashi brought his head up, meeting his reflection's mismatched gaze. As always, he was unnerved by how _pale_ he looked; it was sad, he thought bitterly, that he was so accustomed to seeing himself wearing a dark mask that he was taken aback when he saw his own _face_.

Kakashi spoke slowly, each syllable shaking with anger. "If everything always turned out all right in the end—" He cut himself off, shaking his head back and forth a fraction of an inch. "If everything had turned out 'all right' from the beginning, Pakkun, I wouldn't be here right now."

Pakkun let out a low growl. "Kakashi, don't be—"

"Pakkun, don't try to dissuade me!" Kakashi hissed angrily. "If everything had worked out _'all right'_, I wouldn't be alive right now— I wouldn't be alive, and I wouldn't be so—so damn _alone_…" His words broke off as he hiccupped involuntarily, trying desperately to fight back his tears.

"Don't try to fool yourself, Kakashi," Pakkun said, cocking his head to one side and scratching absently behind one of his floppy brown ears. "You're not alone! You've got me and the dogs, and you've got _Sakura_, don't you?"

Kakashi let out an uncharacteristically hollow laugh, shaking his head back and forth. "She was better off with her foster parents, you know that as well as I do," he said bitterly. "I mean, what could I possibly give her that they couldn't? I'm no father, I'm just— I'm just a pitiful little man who used to be in love."

Pakkun growled dangerously. "Hatake Kakashi, you are _not_ pitiful, you are _not_ just some 'little man', and you are most _certainly_ not alone. You've got a beautiful daughter who's ready to forgive you for whatever you blame yourself for, but she can't _do_ that if you're constantly _torturing_ yourself!" His voice grew louder and angrier as he practically barked, "Kakashi, do you realize how much you're _hurting_ her? Do you realize how much she cares about you? Because she cares about you a lot more than you care about yourself! And she doesn't just care about you because of some… some _obligation_, she doesn't love you because she _has_ to— as far as I know, she loves you for the _person you are_, Kakashi!"

Kakashi snapped his head towards Pakkun, hot tears trickling down his face. "_Love_ me?" he repeated, his voice shaking harder than ever. "_Love_ me for the _person_ I _am_? Pakkun, she hardly even knows me!"

"Well then, maybe it's time you should get to know her," Pakkun snarled. "Make up for the thirteen years you _ignored_ her—"

Kakashi slammed his fist down on the porcelain in frustration, sending little white shards flying. "Do you know what I'm _going_ through right now, Pakkun?" he shouted, twisting his torso towards Pakkun. "Can your tiny brain _comprehend_ just how— just how _twisted_ this whole ordeal is? I dug up her goddamn _corpse_! How the hell would _you_ be handling this situation? You're just… you're just a dog, you can't… can't understand…" Kakashi's words broke off as his body shook with anger, his nails digging into his sweaty palms and his teeth digging into his trembling bottom lip.

"Just a dog?" Pakkun spat, baring his teeth at Kakashi. "Just a dog? I'll admit that I don't understand half the reasons you humans chase yourselves into corners all the time, but I _do_ understand how much you _crap_ you've had to put up with in your meager twenty-nine years on this earth, and how _damaged_ it's made you—"

"_Damaged_?" Kakashi shouted hoarsely. "You think you understand how _damaged_ my mind has become?" Kakashi shook his head back and forth, back and forth, his entire body seeming to shake with the motion. "No, Pakkun, I can safely say that you have _no idea_." Kakashi turned away from Pakkun, shifting his bleary gaze to the mirror above the sink. It was hardly useful anymore; every time someone had died, every time he had been reminded of what he was, who he wasn't and how he got there, he had caused some physical damage to the mirror.

_Damage._ He had never picked out that word to describe what had happened to him, but as he glared at his broken reflection in the cracked mirror, he thought it hit the nail on the head quite neatly. Not for the first time that night, he traced the scar above his Sharingan gently, the touch of his callused fingers causing the old wound to sting a little. He leaned forward a little, narrowing his eyes as he observed them in the mirror. _Damaged._

"Damaged," Kakashi said quietly, his voice sounding fragile; Pakkun was uncomfortably reminded of a child's. He laughed hollowly, bitterly, causing the hairs on the back of Pakkun's neck to stand up on end. "Damaged beyond repair is more like it."

"You think so?" Pakkun also spoke quietly, his throat already rather sore from shouting.

The silence was such that you could have heard a pin drop, but the tension was such that no one would have noticed. The thick silence was broken jarringly, however, as the sound of a fist making contact with glass pierced the air and shards of glass flew everywhere. Paws covering his neck protectively out of instinct, Pakkun cracked open a hastily shut eye to see Kakashi standing with his fist in the center of the now completely ruined mirror, blood dripping sickeningly from his fist.

_Damaged._

Kakashi blinked slowly, looking down to see where blood was already collecting in the center of the sink. The droplets of his thick, red blood contrasted sharply with the seemingly unnatural whiteness of the sink. He blinked again, his mind numb.

_Damaged._

After the initial shock of jagged pieces of glass flying towards his face wore off, Pakkun leapt up out of his defensive position at once, growling. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded, his fur bristling in anger. "You're a grown man with a daughter listening at the door and you can't even exercise enough self-control to stop yourself from breaking that mirror for the umpteenth time!"

"You think I don't know that, Pakkun?" Kakashi said. He started out quiet, but as he continued to speak his volume escalated. "You think I don't know how pitiful I am? I told you, already, Pakkun, I'm damaged beyond repair—"

"You actually believe that?" Pakkun practically roared, snarling. "You actually think that there's no hope for you? Don't give yourself that much credit, Kakashi— your mind isn't that badly screwed—"

"You make it sound like I'm _proud_ of the way I am," Kakashi said angrily, rounding on Pakkun again. "You make it sound like I take _pride_ in the fact that no one—"

"It's not _true_, Kakashi!" Pakkun shouted. "I don't care how much you hate yourself, I don't care how far overboard you think you've gone, because there are people who want to help you, people who love you, people who—"

"People who are _wasting their time_," Kakashi said, each word echoing dangerously in the bathroom that had never seemed so small.

Pakkun let out a loud bark, lunging forward towards Kakashi. Surprised, Kakashi jumped backwards out of the way, landing catlike on the closed toilet seat. Pakkun didn't move fast enough, however, skidding headfirst into the wall. He didn't lose heart, though; he shook away the head-splitting pain and leaped up at where Kakashi was crouched on top of the toilet. Kakashi countered easily, bringing his hands together to form one hand sign and disappearing in a poof of gray smoke; but in the split-second before he disappeared (only to reappear on the other side of the bathroom), he could have sworn he saw… tears?

Reappearing on the other side of the bathroom, Kakashi's eyes were wide as he watched Pakkun scramble up from where he had landed gingerly against the side of the shower stall. He looked at Pakkun as if he had never really seen him before; a little trail of snot was stretched in between the dog's nose and his mouth, and little tears were fighting at the crinkly corners of his eyes.

_Damaged…_

Pakkun closed his eyes tightly, trying to force the little red dots that had appeared in his vision to disappear. He popped his eyes open again, disregarding the faint spinning lights that were still dancing in front of them. Readying himself for another attack, he was about to charge forward when Kakashi was knocked out of the way by a door swinging open. Sakura had tore into the room, slamming the door behind her.

Everyone was still as Sakura stood there, panting, wiping furiously at the tears staining her cheeks. "What are you two _doing_?" Her words started out as a scream, but they quickly faded into more of a plea.

Neither Kakashi nor Pakkun answered her; Pakkun was frozen in mid-charge, and Kakashi was just standing in the corner he had been forced into when the door flew open, his eyes wide and fearful.

Frustrated when she got no response, Sakura glared at Pakkun, saying angrily, "Are you insane? If you two had really started fighting, he could have torn you to pieces!"

Pakkun tried to meet her fiery eyes, but he had to cast his down in shame.

Done with Pakkun, Sakura turned to Kakashi, her face alive with anger. "And what do you think you were talking about before?" she demanded, spitting out her words as if each moment she talked to him cost her dearly. "Pakkun's right, Kakashi-sensei, there are people who care about you, who want to help you, there are people who— People who _love_ you!"

Kakashi blinked several times in rapid succession, his mind still numb. He opened his mouth, attempting to speak, but he couldn't figure out what it was he wanted to say. He opened and closed it soundlessly a few times. Still no words.

Sakura took advantage of the silence and took a step towards him. Kakashi immediately reacted, pressing himself against the wall as if to put as much distance between himself and Sakura as possible. He shook his head back and forth softly, his eyes wider than ever and focused on Sakura's enraged but tearful expression.

_Rin, raising an arm above her head, shaking uncontrollably—_

He slowly raised his arms in front of his chest, shaking—

_Rin, swinging her shaking hand towards him—_

He continued to shake his head back and forth, back and forth—

_Rin, halting the blow right before her palm made contact with Kakashi's exposed face—_

His eyes glistened as he tried to blink back the tears that threatened to spill—

_Rin, hunching over and sobbing into his shoulder…_

-  
-  
-

_Damaged._

-  
-  
-

"I can't TAKE it anymore!"

Kakashi's frustrated scream reverberated around the crowded bathroom as he sank to his knees, clutching his hair as if he intended to rip it out. "I can't take it anymore! I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't…" His screams faded into a low moan as he sobbed, "I can't, I can't, I can't…"

Sakura's anger ebbed away quickly and transformed into worry. That fear she had been feeling earlier when Kakashi had been crying on the couch came creeping back, gnawing at her stomach as she watched Kakashi break again. But even then, even earlier when she had understood a little bit of what was going on in Kakashi's mind, it had never occurred to her just how… just how _damaged_ he was. Every painful thing he had seen, every shameful thing he had done, every scream he had heard, every tear he had caused someone else to shed— each one had dealt him a wound he could not recover from on his own. He had been living alone for far too long, and it had damaged him. Just _damaged_ him.

Damaged beyond repair? Sakura didn't think so. Sakura didn't think that about anyone; she couldn't _let_ herself think that there were some people who were beyond saving.

But he was damaged, close to broken— there was no arguing with that.

"I'm sorry, Sakura…" Sakura snapped out of her train of thought when she heard Kakashi speak thickly as if he had a bad cold. "I know you're sick of all of my goddamn apologies, but I can't take it…" He was speaking into his hands, his whole body trembling. "I'm sorry for screwing up so badly in every aspect of my life… and for not being able to just smile and pretend everything's okay when it's never been farther from it."

Sakura moved towards him, reaching out her arms and wrapping them around him. She didn't bother with words of comfort; she just let him sob into her shoulder until his tears ran dry and his throat was raw.

* * *

Hmm, was that the best place to end it? Not sure. I hope you're happy with it; personally, I think that the last few chapters have been rushing everything, and I feel like there's more I should have put in at various points. If you have serious ideas as to where I should go next with this story (or if you think I should end it, even), I welcome advice/suggestions. 


	15. Sunshine

Okay, this is it. This is the **last chapter**. Take it or leave it, love it or hate it, this is the last one. Don't shoot me! This story could go on forever, and I think that now is as good a time as any to end it. But don't worry! A sequel is very likely! Although… it will probably take awhile.

How I view this chapter: After you cry, you feel better, refreshed. How can one hate a world wherein the sun is shining oh so brightly?

In other words, this chapter is more upbeat, which I find much harder to write than angst. I think it moves rather slowly. Ah well. In most cases, with me, it's either too fast or too slow… ::sighs:: Pacing will be the death of me. But seriously, this chapter is way too happy for me, so it may really suck…

This puppy's dedicated to all of you who answered my plea for advice, particularly Sonikka and CeriseAnouk (or would you prefer Ceri?). You have all been AMAZING and SUPPORTIVE and just the best reviewers a writer could ever ask for! Thank you for your input, your encouragement, your constructive criticism... I love you guys!

* * *

Kakashi was numb.

He couldn't remember the last time he had cried so hard, so… _sincerely_. He could hardly even remember who he was at this point— but then, at the same time, the reality of his existence was throbbing painfully at the forefront of his mine, his inescapable humanity suffocating him… And then, again at the same time, he felt human in a _different _way, a… _better _way. The fact that he _could _cry, the fact that he _could _open up to another person, that he _could _realize what was wrong with him, that he _could_ show emotion— the sheer _humanity _of it all washed over him in a wave of relief, making it feel as if some immense burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

At one time, he would have felt humiliated that someone had seen him in such a state; at one time, he would have cared that he his emotions had just spun out of control and he had come so close to hurting someone he cared for deeply. Now… It wasn't that he didn't _care_; it was just that he didn't care in the same _way_. Instead of feeling angry with himself for having another one of his breakdowns, instead of feeling ashamed, he again felt _relieved. _Just… _relieved_.

He had slipped into unconsciousness from sheer exhaustion somewhere along the line. Naturally, he had dreamed of Rin. He had dreamed of Rin, and Obito, and his sensei, and his mother, and his father. All of them had been crying. Rin had been smiling through her tears; Obito had been grinning broadly, wiping his nose with his sleeve; Sensei's eyes had been glistening, only a tear or two running down his cheek as he smiled softly; his mother had given him a wobbly smile, her eyes shining; and his father— his father had been outright sobbing, his face in his hands as he wept, and wept, and wept, and wept. Kakashi had been confused at first; why were they all crying? Hadn't he done enough crying for the lot of them?

It came to him in one beautiful, revealing moment.

They were crying because they were happy.

They were happy because he was being _saved_.

* * *

Sakura was numb.

It was the first time in her life she had ever dealt with a breakdown of this magnitude. While reading some of the silly romance novels she occasionally picked up, she had faintly entertained the idea of having to comfort someone while they were letting all of their emotions run wild, but she had never expected that someone to be Kakashi— her sensei, her _father._

When she had first met him, he had been the epitome of what a shinobi should be: a man who could kill without hesitation and operate high-class missions successfully and efficiently, showing as little emotion as possible. Little by little, she and her teammates had started to notice his more… human qualities, so to speak: his quirky (and sometimes distasteful) sense of humor, his apparent cluelessness in some aspects of life, even the way he spoke— slowly, in Sakura's eyes, he evolved from a strict and calculating instructor into a thoughtful and caring teacher. When he had been revealed as her father, however, his humanity had come hurling at her fast with little warning. He bled the same color, saw the same sun, loved just as deeply, and cried just as bitterly as the next man, and the sheer fact of those things caught her off her guard.

Honestly, she wasn't quite sure just how to deal with the situation. Her mind blank, she had wrapped her arms around him as he let everything come pouring out, never saying anything, never shifting her position. It was only when she realized that he had cried himself to sleep that she moved, resting his head carefully on a hand towel and quietly returning to her room.

Once she had gotten there, she had collapsed onto her bed, staring at the blank white ceiling. As she lay in bed contemplating what had happened, the sound of Kakashi's sobbing was still echoing in her head, coupled with crying she couldn't quite identify.

It wasn't until she felt the tears on her face that she realized it was her own.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei, wake up."

A gentle voice and a warm hand lightly shaking his shoulder caused Kakashi to groggily blink his eyes open. He sat up, groaning; his muscles were sore from having to rest on the uncomfortable bathroom floor all night. He yawned (something he wasn't prone to doing) and turned to see Sakura crouching beside him. Her eyes were wide and outlined by a circle of red and puffy skin, the shadows dancing around her face causing her to appear much older than she actually was. She was smiling warmly at him, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said; she sounded as if her throat were still recovering from the night before. Again, Kakashi smiled involuntarily before rising to his feet. Sakura followed suit, so that they were back to their usual levels.

"Good morning," he said quietly; the skin of his face that had been stained by the heavy flow of tears felt as if it were cracking as he did so. At that moment, Pakkun sneezed loudly, causing Sakura and Kakashi to look down to where he was pawing at his nose, somewhere in the region of Kakashi's feet.

"Enough with the pleasantries," he said thickly. "Where's my food?"

Kakashi sighed, although he did it with another smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Come on," he said to the squat little dog. "I'll get you your precious food." He led Pakkun out of the bathroom, feeding the eager dog his "breakfast".

After he had filled Pakkun's chipped bowl with a sufficient amount of food, he sat down at the kitchen table, massaging his forehead. He had a monstrous headache that seemed to occupy his entire head, leaving no space for him to think. He closed his eyes, yawning again.

He soon heard the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor and someone sitting down next to him. He could feel the warmth generated from Sakura's body in his vicinity; however, he kept his eyes closed, rubbing them softly with his callused fingers.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura began tentatively, "I've asked Tsunade to give you the day off."

Kakashi opened his eyes, turning to look at her. His entire face was visible, and therefore his surprise was evident. He parted his lips as if to ask "Why?" but answered his own question almost immediately. Instead, he said, "And she…?"

"She gave our team the whole day off," Sakura said. A grin spread across her face as she said, more enthusiastically, "You know what that means, Kakashi-sensei?"

"… Does it mean that I get to sleep somewhere other than on the bathroom floor?"

Sakura laughed, sticking out her tongue playfully and saying, "Nah, it means we get to spend the whole day together, just you and me!"

Kakashi blinked once, giving her a bewildered look. He couldn't quite explain it, but something about that statement made him so happy he wanted to laugh out loud. The image of Rin from his dream the night before swam in the back of his mind's eye, but he pushed it aside as he rose to his feet. "I'd better get myself cleaned up, then," he said.

Sakura nodded, jumping energetically to her feet and hurrying back to her own room. "I'll be waiting!"

* * *

Summer was coming quickly to Konoha. The sun was gleaming magnificently, shedding its warmth on the village. White, fluffy clouds dotted the clear blue sky, drifting lazily along with the help of a refreshing breeze. Kakashi and Sakura were walking down a nearly deserted street together, neither of them speaking. Sakura had coerced Kakashi into taking off his thick green vest; it was much too nice of a day for such a strict adherence to the dress code, she argued. She even managed to get him to wear short sleeves as opposed to long sleeves. Even though the shirt had the raised _uzumaki _stamped onto the back of it, she thought that, overall, it was a significant improvement.

Kakashi took a deep (albeit silent) breath, taking in the familiar smells and sounds of the village. The fact that he couldn't remember the last time he had taken the day off slightly disturbed him, but he tried not to dwell on it. Instead, he focused on the clear, sharp scents of the dewy grass, the budding flowers… All of the things he had forgotten he loved about the outdoors.

Sakura watched him tentatively, waiting impatiently for him to attempt to break the silence on his own. Of course, knowing Kakashi, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, so Sakura took the initiative.

"Sooo, Kakashi-sensei… what do you want to do today?" She cocked her head to the side, looking up at him to see if he gave any reaction. He didn't look at her directly; he tilted his head towards the sky, watching the clouds as he considered his answer. Eventually, he shrugged, turning to her and saying, "I haven't been out in awhile, would you mind just walking for a little bit?"

Sakura shook her head; she didn't mind what they did, as long as Kakashi got some fresh air to clear his head. "That's fine with me," she said, smiling. Kakashi smiled back, and the two continued to walk.

The small dirt road they were walking down quickly dwindled into a path, eventually coming to and end at a stretch of uneven grass. Sakura had never been down this way before, but Kakashi seemed to know where he was going; he continued walking, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that there was no longer a beaten path to follow. Sakura followed him, now a bit curious.

"Where are we going?" she asked. The wild wet grass tickled her toes, causing her to smile softly.

There was silence for a moment or two (although with all of the external noises, it could hardly be called that). Sakura's stomach churned unpleasantly; was today going to be just as painful a day for him as yesterday? _That would defeat the whole point of getting him the day off_, Inner Sakura thought grumpily.

"Somewhere nice," Kakashi said lightly, interrupting her thoughts. He turned his face towards her, his eye curved up in a smile.

Sakura blinked once, surprised, before smiling again, relieved. "Somewhere nice," she repeated, her tone playfully skeptical.

"Yes," Kakashi said simply. "Somewhere nice."

There was more silence for only a second or two before Sakura started laughing. Her laugh was clear and happy, tugging at the corners of Kakashi's mouth for what was neither the first nor the last time.

Trees slowly started to occupy the area they were walking in, gradually increasing in number until they formed what could be considered a forest. Neither of the two was quite sure how long they had been walking beside each other in silence, both soaking in the atmosphere. Kakashi seemed to be very absorbed in his thoughts, so Sakura decided to take advantage of that and observe him. Every time he walked underneath a patch of light, the sunlight made his silver hair sparkle and reflected beautifully off of his hitai-ate (which he had firmly refused to remove, no matter how much she pleaded). She noticed something different about the way he was walking; as of late, his posture had been stiffer and rigid, as if he were under the constant watch of a military captain, but today he was back to what Sakura dared to say was his original self, slouching and taking his time as if he hadn't a care in the world. Sakura attributed this to the healing effects of fresh air and sunlight, although she secretly wished that she had at least something to do with it.

Sakura had gotten in a good three minutes of observing Kakashi before he noticed that she was looking at him; he shifted the gaze of his eye in her direction. The sudden recognition caught Sakura by surprise; her eyes widened as she blinked and looked away. Kakashi actually laughed, which made her look back up at him; she had rarely heard him laugh, or at least not in a long while.

"Am I really that interesting to look at?" he joked. Sakura smiled but didn't say anything, looking somewhere in the general vicinity of 'straight ahead'.

Now, Kakashi figured, it was his turn to 'observe' _her_. Her hair and some of her face was dappled with sunlight, but the rest of her head was cast in a greenish shadow. Her eyes glittered softly, reflecting the light. The vestiges of her smile still decorated her face, but for the most part, her expression was somewhat blank. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask; she looked so much like Rin had on days like this.

"_Kakashi, don't you just love the sound of the birds all chirping together like this? It's like they're singing for us."_

Kakashi turned his head forward, dimly realizing that he couldn't remember the last time he had smiled so many times in one day.

* * *

The level of the ground gradually started to ascend, and Kakashi and Sakura were soon walking almost uphill. It wasn't necessarily steep, but Sakura dragged her feet somewhat as her stomach grumbled hungrily.

"I don't suppose this 'somewhere nice' has nice food?" Sakura joked, little hope for a positive response. Kakashi laughed, saying, "I'm afraid not." Sakura sighed, although she was secretly struggling to keep a straight face.

The trees dispersed rather suddenly, and Kakashi and Sakura were met with the sight of small rolling hills running into another, much larger forest further along. Sakura let out a delighted little gasp; she had never thought such a place existed so close to Konoha.

The sun was set high in the clear blue sky, accompanied by the occasional wandering cloud. Kakashi inhaled deeply, taking in the abundant sunlight. He hadn't been here in a long, long time.

Sakura ran forward gleefully, kicking off her sandals as she ran through the green grass. It had never been cut and was tickling her ankles, still slightly wet from the slight drizzle the night before. She twirled around in a lopsided circle, hopping on one foot to keep her balance at one point. Something within her made her so happy she wanted to sing and laugh and dance until her throat was raw and her feet were sore; she contented herself with spinning around until she was so dizzy she collapsed on the top of one of the miniature hills. She lay splayed out in the grass, thinking, _It's nice to feel like a kid again every once in awhile._

Kakashi had watched her, amused as she pranced around as if she hadn't a care in the world. He himself had never done anything like that as a child; watching Sakura gave him a bittersweet feeling, but he decided that, for the time being, he would ignore the bitterness and just enjoy the sweetness. He almost laughed when she lost her balance and fell over, ambling over to where she now lay in the grass with her limbs outstretched, breathing in deeply.

"Having fun?" he asked, his eye crinkled into a smile.

Sakura nodded idly, not looking at Kakashi. He crouched down next to her to see what had caught her attention; her wide eyes were focused on the sky, watching clouds drift slowly past.

Kakashi had never really found the time to stare at clouds, although he knew that it was a favorite pastime of a certain student of Asuma's. He figured that now was as good as time as ever to start; he lowered himself to the ground, folding his arms behind his head and crossing one of his legs over his knee, letting his foot dangle idly.

The warm breeze felt very refreshing; it taunted him, whispering in his ear and trying to persuade him to remove his mask so that he could feel it fully. As he watched the fluffy formations move slowly across the sky, he seriously considered it; after all, the breeze _did _feel oh so very nice…

"Kakashi-sensei?" His train of thought was broken by Sakura's voice.

"Hn?"

"Have you ever done this before?" she asked. "Watched clouds, I mean."

"No, I haven't…" Kakashi said. However, a foggy memory suddenly surfaced in his mind. "Well, actually…"

Sakura turned her head towards him slightly, her curiosity piqued.

Kakashi continued, a hint of discomfort in his voice. "Once, when I was very small, I remember… my father and I watched them together."

"Mmm…" Sakura closed her eyes, breathing slowly and deeply as the breeze rustled the tall blades of grass around her face. The sun's calm light warmed her skin comfortably; she hadn't felt this good in quite some time.

Time slowly passed as the two of them lay together in a calm silence, both relaxing like they hadn't in what felt like the longest time. Both were lost in their thoughts, not knowing that they were thinking about similar things.

* * *

"_What is sunshine?" A four-year-old Sakura was sitting in her mother's flower garden, watching the soil fall through the cracks in between her fingers._

"_What is sunshine?" Mrs. Haruno repeated, looking at Sakura curiously. _

_Sakura nodded. "I can feel it on my skin, but I can't taste it and I can't smell it and no matter how hard I try, I can't hold it in my hands." She held out her empty hands, palms facing her mother._

_Mrs. Haruno put down her gardening tools, crouching down to Sakura's level and cupping her chin in the space between her thumb and forefinger. "Hmm, that's a good question," she said. "I suppose that sunshine is… well, sunshine is happiness, I guess."_

"_Happiness?"_

"_Mm-hm," Mrs. Haruno said, nodding. Noticing the confused look on Sakura's face, she elaborated. "Do you know where sunshine comes from?"_

_Sakura pointed to the sun, a tiny dot of light set high in the afternoon sky._

"_That's right," Mrs. Haruno said. "Sunshine comes from the sun. But the sun doesn't always shine, does it?"_

_Sakura shook her head. "Sometimes it's cloudy and sometimes it even rains."_

"_Mm-hm," Mrs. Haruno said again. "When it's dark and cloudy, the sun is sad. When it's sunny outside, the sun is so happy that it wants the whole world to know."_

"_So… when the sun is happy, the world is happy?" Sakura asked, her face twisted up in concentration._

"_Well…" Mrs. Haruno considered her answer before speaking. "Sometimes that's the case. Usually, when the sun is shining, you just feel happier inside, don't you?"_

_Sakura nodded enthusiastically, smiling._

"_Other times, though, you're sad even when it's sunny outside, aren't you?" Mrs. Haruno asked._

_Sakura's face fell a little as she thought about this before nodding once. "Yep!" she said, a solemn expression on her face._

_Mrs. Haruno laughed; she looked so serious. "But when you're sad, the sun's there to remind you that you won't be sad forever, and that there is hope for tomorrow."_

"_So… sunshine is hope?" Sakura asked, finally getting to the bottom of the situation._

_Mrs. Haruno nodded, smiling kindly at Sakura._

"_That's right. Sunshine is hope."_

_- - - -  
_

"_Daddy?" A three-year-old Kakashi was sitting on his father's shoulders, his arms wrapped around his neck. Sakumo was standing in the middle of an empty stretch of grass, his eyes closed as he felt the wind rustle through his hair._

"_What is it, 'Kashi?" he asked, his eyes still closed._

"_What is sunshine?"_

"_What is sunshine?" Sakumo repeated, cocking his head to the side. "That's an interesting question. Why do you ask?"_

_Kakashi shifted his position on his father's shoulders, wrapping his little legs a little bit tighter around his father's chest._

"'_Cause I can see the sun and I can feel it on my skin but I can't _touch _it." He curled up one of his fists as if to emphasize the fact that he was holding nothing._

"_Hmmm…" Sakumo considered his answer, hoisting Kakashi up a little higher. "Well… When I think of sunshine, I usually think of happy things."_

"_Happy things?"_

"_Mm-hm," Sakumo said, his deep voice rumbling in his throat. "When I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining, it reminds me of happier times. You know… back when there wasn't all of this war and we could just take some time off to appreciate things."_

"_A… appreeshet?" Kakashi worked his tongue around this new word._

"_Appreciate," Sakumo said, carefully annunciating each syllable. "It means to be thankful for the things you have, even if they're not of value to anyone but you."_

"_Appreciate…" Kakashi stored this word into his ever-growing vocabulary. It sounded pretty important, even if he didn't fully understand it yet._

"_Anyways," Sakumo said, " we were talking about sunshine, right? Like I was saying, when the sun is shining it makes me think that we _will _win this war, and that peace isn't very far away." He paused, contemplating what he had just said, before adding, "I guess that, in a way, sunshine isn't so much happiness as it is hope."_

"_Hope?"_

_Sakumo laughed good-naturedly. "Come on, 'Kashi, don't tell me you don't know what hope is!"_

"_I know what it is!" Kakashi said defensively, swinging his legs in protest at being underestimated. "I didn't think sunshine was a feeling, though."_

"_Well, technically, it's just the name for the light the sun gives off," Sakumo responded, "but it can mean a lot more to different people. To me, it means hope. Take it or leave it."_

_Kakashi reached the hand he had curled into a fist earlier down towards one of his father's. He brushed the edges of it lightly, saying quietly, "Hope."_

_Sakumo entwined his thick, rough fingers with Kakashi's small soft ones._

"_Hope. Sunshine is hope."_

* * *

Sakura sat up, stretching. She rubbed at the little tears that formed in the corners of her eyes as she yawned.

"Ready to head home?" she asked, turning to Kakashi.

Kakashi slowly blinked his eye open, staring up blankly at the sky. The sun's position had changed considerably; it was now slowly sinking towards the western horizon. _How long have we been here?_

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi blinked again before rising slowly to his feet.

"All right," he said, holding in a yawn.

Sakura also stood up. "I'm staaarving!" she complained, hunching over and clutching her stomach.

Kakashi laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

"Come on, then, let's go get something to eat."

A mischievous grin crawled onto Sakura's face. Without saying a word, she turned and started running back towards the village. It took Kakashi's brain, still a bit slow, a few full seconds to register the fact that she was sprinting towards the forest.

"Hey, wait up!" he called after her, cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Race you there, Dad!" was the only response he got before she disappeared into the trees.

Kakashi sighed; what he needed was a nice sit-down meal, not a competition of the fittest with the reward being dibs on the better seat at the ramen stand. However, it seemed that it was unavoidable, so he channeled a tiny amount of chakra to his feet and began running after her.

_Hope._

_Sunshine is hope._

_- - - -_

_- - - -_

_- - - -_

_-おわり-  
_


End file.
